My HeartSoul

8:53 AM

Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Final Fantasy. Of mine.

I know I gotta write something before someone dies of boredom over here.

Yes. Final Fantasy. Its probably one of the most well known games around. One with one of the greatest legacy left over years in the whole of the gaming world. It is amazing. An awesome development with more to come. Yes, that means I'm officially hooked.

The storyline, gameplay, action, graphics. Awesome. It's unbelievable. From VII to even X and X-2. XII. And now XIII. It's out. I can't say how glad I am because its out on Xbox as well. 360. Whatever. But regrets on not getting a PS3 instead. All for this 1 game? FF? Well that goes to show how much FF is to me. Woah. Big.

I don't normally spend time to say how awesome or even use the word awesome but this is a whole new level. It also takes up more thinking space than Kpop does nowadays. That goes to show the importance. Its. PRO. IMBA. SKILLZ.

It kinda all started a few years back. Learnt a tiny tiny winnie bit about FF. Actually watched Advent Children though I didn't understand it. Almost totally. Also bought the gameplay walkthrough for X-2. That was awesome as well.

Now, a few years later, playing Crisis Core on the PSP. It was great. Then I went to check up wiki and all those crap for some of the later games. Eg. the all famous FFVII, X, X-2, XII and now XIII. Did check up on some other crap like IX and VIII. Hmmmm...

Well, on the 17th dec, the PS3 version was already out in Jap. Saw a few copies today.

Waiting on for Mar 2010, so I can get the 360 version. But there's no jap in 360, and PS3's version is better. Regrets on the 360. Since I got only 1 game, Halo 3 anyways. I still don't understand how I survived with only 1 game. For almost 3 years. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Have you seen the PS3 slim FFXIII lightning version. HOLY CRAP. 0.0

Cow. I want 1 of those. I really do.

So much.

And the game of course.

Have I mentioned that the Jap voice is the best. Original. But with eng subs. Why can't they do that???? Jap voice with eng subs and commands. Why??? It's either just jap which means good sound but I have no almost no idea what they are saying. And the attack commands, now there's a problem. Or the eng version, which means I understand everything but eng-dubbed is nowhere as nice as jap.

Just searching non-stop stuff in FF, especially FFXIII.

Again, I lament over getting Xbox 360. That FFXIII version is... *sigh*

Just searching tube on boss fights all those crap, endings. Whatever. And of course, the soundtrack for FFXIII. Woah. Out in Jan 27 2010. I'm getting one of those as well.

Naise.

Now while I'm typing this, I keep replaying Kimi Ga Iru Kara. The theme song for FFXIII. I have no friggin idea on WHY they put Leona lewis's "My hands" as the theme. Original. Please. Come on.

Urgh, that just ruined it. Song still playing. XD

For your viewing pleasure, here's the latest trailer subbed.

Heh. Awesome? Yes. :3

WOAH.

Can't wait at all.

This is so on the top of the list games to get. 1st. No competition.

Even something like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare looks so pathetic. Sorry if I offended you, but I so on the FF fanlist. So up there.

Now I'm having a fantasy of my own. If only. I could become one of the story writers for Final Fantasy. That job. Would be one of my first choices. All the way up there. With the singer, master composer, author, this is probably so much better than being a businessman. Who cares about the money when there's the passion. 10 years down the road, I'm gonna try my hand at this. A story director. Heh.

Big dream. Like a fantasy.

Back to reality. Time to change the blogskin soon. Must be sick and tired of hearing Moon Hee Jun sing Toy over and over again. Just wait. I'll make a new one. Final Fantasy style. Heh. With the soundtrack I hope. When I some how manage to get my hands on it.

Oh, new year. 1 hour and 33 min for the new year.

ZZZZZ.

Just keep waiting. I guess. Sighs.

So I just watched Avatar today. Great, awesome.

Wanting to watch Sherlock Holmes and Treasure Hunter one day. Zhou Jie Lun and Lin Chi Ling. Heh.

Sad. Back from Malaysia few days ago. I mean I would've wanted more than a 5 day stay. Usually during the dec hols, it would be something like 2 weeks. Sad.

Argh, few days left.

Now, with an imaginary and almost totally unachievable New Year's resolution, I start a New Year. Gratz to me. Good luck. Haiz.

Replaying Kimi Ga Iru Kara. Heh. Listen to it.

Yes, time to logout.

Will be Final Fantasizing again tomorrow. Heh. It's gonna be a while before this thing subsides. But my guess is that like Kpop, this is gonna stay as another passion.

Is it just me or am I discovering so many passions in 2009? Hope I can figure and somehow achieve some of them before something really happens in 2012. I need to realise more of the reasons and meanings that I still want to exist. In fantasy and reality both ways.

Well then.

BTW. short hair sux. I love my long hair. I miss it. Wait, sux is an understatement. Its total crap. Why can't I get an awesome long hairstyle like those Kpop artistes or Final Fantasy characters?

Okay then.

Annyeong. Sayonara.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

The glimmering lights are miniscule against the night sky.

Quote of the Post

Why bother staying grounded when we can look to the stars?

P.S that was the ending quote for the prologue of my book. Thinking of maybe, just maybe putting that on hold, while I start a final fantasy style story.

Ok, end of song, I'm gonna play it through the night.

Goodnight.

6:52 AM

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Whenz men and hiz kitteh met teh cheezburger...

LOL.

Waiting for more enjoyable stuff to happen really.

Cause after this, I'll be waiting for more exciting things. Like when Sunjay's gonna plan out the class outing. Hmmmm... or if anyone's gonna plan out something. Not that thats gonna happen anytime soon. Saddening.

Time to hope for some stuff.

Will be leaving for holiday soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's probably time to add more artistes into my music library. Whew. Some work has gotta be done here. Cause adding new songs and lyrics.... probably takes quite a while.

Just got back to guitar. My acoustic. Wheeee. Cause I really wouldn't want these few hundred [about 3] to go sploosh down the drain. Time to pick up the pick and start teh strumming. Just practiced a few rounds of "One Less Lonely Girl" by Justin Bieber. Went on to look up some "Before the Worst", saw the tabs, and pretty much stopped a while after. Hmmmmm....

Lamenting over the epic lack of guitar chords for Kpop songs and those nice singles. Really saddening. Why???? WHY IS THERE NO GOOD TABS??!?!?! P.S. Pretty much suck in the picking. Not good. Not good. Not good.....

Heh. When is the next Kpop related concert [which feature some of my favourite artistes] coming???? WHEN?????

And crying over the fact that SNSD's first concert is not here in Singapore. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Why is it just Korea, Shanghai [or Taiwan. Forgot. 1 of them] and Thailand? Sad..... so sad....

Volkswagon. Das Auto.

What???? LOL??????

Some more listing and writing left to do..... Practice and whatever crap. Cow.

Bleh. Blabbering nonsensically. Wheee. That's me. Whatever. Gack.

Okay. Ja na~ [See you later in Jap]

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

No goodbyes

Quote of the Post

One's own to one's own tempo in life.

8:47 AM

Saturday, December 12, 2009

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....

Sorry, very high. Still very high. No, I'm not on drugs. I'm high on Kpop.

Yes, I've just been to the SunDown Festival, Seoul'd Out at Fort Canning Park. Seen some pretty authentic, smooth, artistic, action, cool, high, LOUD, sexy shiz.

My sis, dad and I went there this afternoon, errrr, I mean yesterday afternoon. Bleh bleh bleh. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, still very high.

First was the extremely LONG queue which stretched from the entrance all the way back. Few hundred meters. Gack. It was quite a long while. Hour+. Hmmmm....

It was so packed. And even before anything started, people started screaming when they see the advertisement, and Suju and DBSK popped up. *Screams* Ahhhhhhhh.... And then, suddenly the DJ goes on and play Ring Ding Dong. Epic. 2 secs into the start, you suddenly hear screams and then a loud chorus of "Butterfly~" and the "ring ding dong" part and the "fantastic/elastic" parts. Woah. Rush.

Yellow. Loads of Primadonnas there. Woah.

Started off with some traditional dance + traditional drums and music. Then came the exciting parts. Next were a group of artistic and talented yet humourous group of artists. First picture was good. But not incredible, cause it was just some pic of Singapore. Then, in 7min, the next guy uses this special block of paint to scratch out your typical beautiful chinese scenery painting. Hmmm. Then the amazing part. When the lights dimmed, under the different spectrum, the painting seem as if the waterfall [which was all black and white at first] seemed to flow. Blue. Colour. Change. Woah. Then the IMBA skillz. 10min, a finger/hand painted/scratched out picture of Napolean Bonaparte. The famous one where he's on the horse. WOAH. And the lights dimmed, and suddenly, beautiful black and white became beautiful, colourful painting.

B-Boying kicked ass. Group of guys with heck load of skillz. Look, feet not touching ground for 15secs, cause I'm just spinning on my hands. And move left right back forth. Spin. Flip. Can't really describe, was epic. Sorry Chen Wei, that was just pure skillz.

Then some strong vocals by Park Shi Nae. And some average rapping by Mario. Bleh. Fail. But some nice eng songs. Wow. And then here comes Lee Ji Su. Nice voice. Ballads. Hmmmm....

And here we go *screams*. T-max. Can't believe it, I was singing. Woah. Nice songs. And everything. Popular. Loud sounds. Noisy. High. Screaming. Singing. Wheee. And some particularly nice sparkler effects. Poof. People screaming for Kim Jun. Yun Hwa's high voice and skinny figure looked like a girl's. And ENCORE. Eh, guys, its pronounced On-cor not En-cor. But nevertheless. WHEEE.

EPIC>EPIC>EPIC!!!!!!!!! FT-Island. Sorry, my ears just went so muffled with the screaming. FTFTFTFTFTFTFT and HONGKIHONGKIHONGKI and so on. But today, noticed he looked less energetic as he usually was. But still, an amazing, energy filled performance. Wheee. The moment people heard the song Bare [I Hope] they went wild. Everyone was like screaming out the song. I was singing it pretty loud but couldn't really hear. Wadeva. Encore. Again. WOAH. High.

Rush. *More Screams* Brown Eyed Girls. Woah, some sizzling performance. Big woohoo. Songs were pretty great. I've just realised that their songs are actually quite nice. ZZZZZ. And now they've bought me over. So that brings my total favourite listen to Kpop female groups count to a grand total of 3. SNSD, Kara, Brown Eyed. But I do listen to others sometimes. FX. The Grace. 2NE1. So on. Then off with a bang, Abracadabra. Nice. And ENCORE> pretty much expected. Not that we had to scream much cause Brown Eyed were just by the side of the stairs. Like they expected this. Duh. Quite obvious.

Was a blast. Wheew. Still very high. Wanna scream. And sing. Got an urge to be some star now. So that I'm the one on top of that stage singing my heart's out. Singing well. With the whole fan crowd. Screaming, my group's name. Screaming my name. Woah. Heady dream.

Still wadeva this means, it was an enjoyable and unforgettable experience. LIVE. Woah. Eat that. Suansuansuansuan... Hehe

Time to wind down and sleep now. It's late. Very. 1.45am. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Kpopkpopkpopkpop.....

Annyeong...Saranghaeyo.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Scream my name [Hwang Ji Hang! Hwang Ji Hang! Ji Hang! Ji....]

Quote of the Post

Your performance was my encouragement.

5:22 AM

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Just went to watch New Moon. Was reasonable. But just watching Jacob take off his shirt was...phew. Argh, sadded. I cry. Then after seeing him go topless, Edward taking off his shirt was like, peanut-ish. Some people just laughed. Like quite puny in comparison.

Gack. Thinking about other stuff too much. I still have a book and a few songs yet to start, let alone finish. Gack. Gack.

You know, this is turning out to be a bit crappy post.

Long pants. Check. Shweet.

And Chen Wei has yet to check his mailbox. Come on, back to your home already. I wanna see/hear his reaction. Whatever.

Why is it that imba drummers, guitarists etc, are so hard to find nowadays. Those who are good friends, don't slack off, and find me a reasonable singer. Those who are willing to form a band and are nice + not huge suaners. Especially those who enjoy the same music as me. Why are these people so hard to find nowadays?

Bam. Fullmetal Alchemist~

And music. Writing. List list list....

And crying over spilt milk. Whatever.

And over things that haven't happened yet. Also about things which won't happen.

Regretting over things done. Regretting over things not done.

Crap.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

HeartSoul~

Quote of the Post

Knowledge leads to a desire to acquire more.

7:45 AM

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sometimes, what we really require is a leap of faith. Really, some trust and hope would be good. Sometimes, that's what we don't manage to get.

My sis just got a new laptop today. It's the Toshiba [same as mine] Satellite [different from mine]. It's pretty new, and sleek. Hmmm....

Tomorrow NPCC camp, I don't really care about how I feel about that now. But I should go to sleep earlier.

That means that I can't listen to loads of music [especially Kpop], watch documentaries [on discovery, nat geo and whatever else there is] like mythbusters, can't watch other programs [like animax, arirang, V, MTV and kbs world] and other stuff. That also means no more random com games and read up others blogs, edit mine, read up on the latest kpop news. Watch random kpop stuff, overload my com with anime like Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist etc. And read manga.

But on the very least, I'm not dying through the many countless methods that exists by either other humans, accidents and dear mother nature. Whee.

We still have our feet, so we can at least still continue walking forward.

So I won't whine. At least, try not to.

Sad, I just started on Fullmetal yesterday, but I'm on ep 30. Still have 21 more to go, and the unfinished episodes of the second season. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Hmmm... One word? Maybe something like "truth". It does so well in bringing out the truth of our human nature. And maybe something like cool and awesome.

It's a good series. But they don't really go easy on the murder, blood, the bit of gore, and gruesome stuff. Like imploding one's body from the inside, and leaving just an exploded splat of blood on the wall. Bleh. And here, too many good die young/unfairly. Innocent+unfair death=disgusting+sad. But don't let that put you off.

Bye then. See you soon. I hope.

Hey, what am I complaining about again?

And I'm listening to A Boy by G-Dragon again. Catchy.

Annyeong.

Quote of the Post

My own falter and hesitation, they stopped me from accomplishing my goal. But that saved my soul.

9:40 AM

Friday, November 27, 2009

Inspiring people feels good. But whether I'm inspiring them to do stuff which are more unappealing and weird. Oh, not good. And perhaps piss them off. Ah, now that doesn't feel good. This is of course assuming people actually listen to my ranting.

Sometimes, you just wanna get things over with. Believe me, I know.

Now, I've basically been spending my whole days tuning into the tv. And spending 75% of that time on Discovery Channel. Nice. Now I just find some shows plain awesome. Like Mythbusters. And recently, Deadliest Catch.

Yes, with all the swearing and censoring in 1 out of 3 sentences, and some pushing and shoving. And bad luck, and arguing, and some fingers. As well as more swearing. It's pretty awesome. Yes, even with the swearing even when you encounter some good crab fishing. I mean, like quote: "Yeah! Yes! Yeah! -beep- Yeah!" when there's a good catch. And like "Oh, -beep-cold...labour...tired... -beep- crab. -beep- fishing...storm...30 foot seas... -BEEP!-" Yeah, stuff like that, I guess it makes the show more interesting. Life on board a Bering Sea fishing boat, looking out for good crab fishing.

Interesting, but I'm not yet willing to lay down my life for some heck of a ride on the seas, high waves, stormy weather, dangerous situations, bad luck, swearing, tension, going without sleep for 30 hours doing back breaking labour routine and getting nothing but blank pots in the wet and cold. Yeah stuff like that. You know.

Let's get this over with. Seriously.

With some more hoping.

And guys, seriously, if you think I'm emo, then that's a tad bit too extra. Cause, this is called thinking about things average guys don't think about. Not oh, I'm feeling depressed, so I'm off for a bit to the kitchener to get the knife and start slicing my wrist. That's emo. I just...uh...just think and worry more than others. You know. And who says writing poems and other stuff, craping about sensitive subjects like love on blogs, listening to multitudes of music=emo? It's called expressing feelings. It's just something I do in different ways than many others.

Oh, and come on, my singing isn't that bad. It's just that I'm not that good with voice control over stuff like pitching. Especially when it comes to the high end. And I enjoy doing it. It's like a passion. Yes, despite the different languages. Heh.

Okay, I'm dead on monday. The prospects of walking with all your load for camp at 3am in the morning from Bishan all the way to Changi probably does that to you. Anticipation. That is if it hasn't scared the crap out of you and left you witless.

Bleh, what am I complaining about. Come on, after watching all the harsh, tough, traumatising, close death/death encounters on screen on Discovery/Nat Geo. What am I whining about? I'm not stuck in the middle of the Bering Sea risking my life for crab. I'm not stranded in the middle of the sea screaming futilely for help. I'm not being held hostage by random terrorists in a enclosed death filled hotel. I'm not trapped on a burning ship with nowhere to go but down into the water. I'm not in a tall building that's about to collapse any moment.

Come on, what am I whining about a miserable trek compared to a mind-boggling hike across the barren wastelands of Russia looking for some signs of life in the blistering cold. Why am I so apprehensive of push-ups/punishment when I could be dying alone in some corner of a desert? Why am I worrying about lack of sleep when I could be in the Bering Sea, catching crab, doing back-breaking work, risking my life without sleep for 20+ hours? Why am I worried about the food, when I could be drinking my own pee to survive?

I won't die of starving, hypothermia/hyperthermia, fever, poison, venom, dehydration, being brutally ripped apart by wild animals, exhaustion, being shot at, drowning, burning, suffocation, and all the other painful random shiz. I'm just away in school for a slightly tiring NPCC camp.

So what am I complaining about???

Okay, I guess this self-induced prep talk is gonna make me feel better? Not that much, but helps a bit. But not the results I was hoping for. Goes to show how selfish we normal people are, only caring about your own pathetic situations. In most cases of course. There are the exemplary exceptions.

Okay, annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Trying not to complain

Quote of the Post

When you think that luck's tough, then think again. A fellow human is probably getting his ass kicked by mother nature or something and is dying out there. He's probably already dead. So don't whine about pathetic miscellaneous shiz that much.

8:38 AM

Thursday, November 26, 2009

So some stuff has been more or less decided.

That my sis PSLE results aren't that bad. Woah. Okay, quite unexpected. That I kinda decided on Lego Rock Band, because of the songs. Yeah. That I'm pretty much dead next Monday. That I wanna keep my hair as long as possible. That I love music. That my heart is in pieces. All the time.

Huh, Mapling. LOL. No comments.

Okay, when I do this kind of stuff, I feel pretty weird. Wait, I feel that all the time.

Wheee.

Time for my brain to start getting messed up. Okay.

I've been having dreams, and thoughts. Hmm. Number 1, something very weird, and to some extent creepy. Why is it that some of my dreams, come true??? I mean, I dream of a place, and then it appears. No.1 I haven't even heard of it before, when I dream of it. I haven't seen it. I don't even know it. But then, weeks, months, years after that, I see it in real life. It happened pretty much a few times. At least 8 already? Maybe. Eg. I dreamt of the Universal Studios many months ago, without knowing anything about it. I clearly remember the dinosaur stone sculpture, the big lake thingy, even to the colour of the rock ground. Extremely weird. Then I see and hear about it recently. I mean, at that time, they weren't even building it yet.

Gahhh, weird.

And now number 2. What's up with the random feelings I get. I know myself that I don't really feel the whole "love at first sight" thing, cause I go through some automatic, unconscious yet self-induced heart lockdown. So I won't get my hopes so high. And I don't get THAT disappointed, sad, and depressed. So I won't yet again break this already flawed, cracked, fragile heart of mine. So it won't hurt so bad, so I won't fall so hard.

But then all this, the lockdown, lasts a while, and then I all of a sudden realise that I in some way or another, like a certain someone, regardless real, too fantastical, too unreachable, or even if its just fiction. Its like this unexplained feeling, that makes you just relax, cool down, and smile for no particular reason. It's like your heart just opens up, blooms like a flower in spring. You just blank out, feel so secure, and euphoric. Just, well high. Very much so.

Even if this will eventually lead to another scar, crack in my heart, I just don't care. At all.

But all this is also very unstable. Some are stronger, some or not as strong. Some last longer, some are flashes. But it feels great.

And I realise something. I found out that I actually fall more for a character. The inside. Yes, they all look good, cute, pretty. Whatever. But when I get to know them more, by reading about them, or watching them, in my eyes, they are no longer just a pretty face. There's something else. I just so suddenly feel so much differently about them.

Yes, though sometimes it may seem like its the looks. Yes, they matter a lot to me, but then, when I see a caring look, maybe a gentle caring smile and voice, it tells a lot. Even the silent contemplating. Its the character. Its the inside.

Now, looking back at the past 5 paragraphs, it looks like some random crap. But I wanted it off my chest I guess, and as retarded as it may sound. You know what? I don't care. I would gladly have this feeling back anytime. Really. Addictive, I must say. But then all wonderful things are addictive.

There's not really a name for this I guess. But I think I pretty much know what it is. XD

And a heart henceforth blossoms a bit more.

And towards this uncontrollable light I sprint on.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Blossoming through these cracks

Quote of the Post

You can see more by looking at the immaterial, the inside, than you can looking at the outside shell. You can tell more, and feel more.