SETTING OF THE STORY
Name: Wong Zhe Herng
Nickname: Guardian Angel
BirthDay: 8th September
Horoscope Sign: Virgo
Gender: Male
Nationality: Malaysian (Singapore PR)
Passions: Writing [Stories, Poems}, Reading, Listening to my Fav music, Singing, Fanboying [heh],
Appreciating everything existent on this plane of life-etc., just pondering about stuff I like,
making people happy..., maybe drawing too, Anime I like and watching drama or random crap related
to stuff I like [k-pop groups...XD].
Likes: People. Especially those with great personalities. Good food, games, having fun. Books, nice poems,
music I like. Relaxing, singing well, good ideals. a person who's character is one that I can totally respect
in one way or another... Feeling good, and inspired/hyped up. Doing something good. Enjoying myself.
Appreciating what I have. Excelling/achieving success... A good game of chess,etc. Funny, cheering stuff. Anime.
And living in my own reality [hoping, dreaming]. [K-pop groups? Heh heh] AND FF!!! FINAL FANTASY!!!! Hell Yeah!
Dislikes: Dreaded things, too many tests and projects, procrastinating, feeling betrayed or let down/disappointed.
and there's just the things I don't like about myself... Feeling angry, holding grudges. Letting others down. Feeling
anxious, sad, etc. People. Certain kind of people... Many other crap.etc.etc.etc.
Dreaming/Hoping for:
1)To escape reality
2)Good results in my endeavors
3)A life XD
4)Skillz [in things like studies, knowledge, sports, singing, etc.]
5)My many dreams to come true...
6)Some random freak accident where I actually become friends with my idols...
7)Abilities like being able to speak all languages and bend reality...etc.etc.etc.
8)If they actually fall for me. Or something. At least friends? *sigh* fail...
9)To be smooth and what [good-looking, with style-being cool, whatever]???
10)To be some imba singer? Like get enlisted in SM Town or something. Woah. Then again, refer to no.7. 1st point.
11)To become very fit very fast.
12)Crazy pro dancer? [eg.Eunhyuk-woah]
13)Stop worrying so much before I actually wear my soul out
14)World peace? Stop global warming? Technological advancement? Eco-friendly world? Yup.
15)Some famous writer-author & poet. Or some pro dancer/singer in english,kpop, chinese? Haiz
16)Ability to rap korean real fast and pro and make it sound right. And sing well in korean
17)Pro b-boy moves?
18)People to like me.
19)People to UNDERSTAND me.
20)More kpop and fanboying related dreams. Heh.
21)Successful?
22)Be a somebody. On this world. [and maybe in kpop...XD]
23)Be some kind of FF story director or something.
Dreams and hopes which actually have a chance of coming true
1)My favourite music [cds? anything related]
2)Anything with my fav groups inside....
3)Kpop idol photobooks. Hard. But still.
4)Doing moderately well in studies
5)Some electronics? [ipod touch?]
6)Good friends
7)Improve fitness
8)Improve singing
9)Improve my random freestyle anyhow crap in hopes of looking cool dancing
10)Continue being me [with all the emo, fanboying, poems...etc.]-should be the easiest?
11)Learn a bit more languages?
12)Stop procrastinating that much
13)People to like more Kpop? [bordering impossible/first group]
14)Find some free time-hard as well though
15)Enjoying myself/relaxing, a bit at least
16)Spreading the love for Kpop [SNSD, Kara, Suju...Hwaiting!]
17)More materialistic things? zzzz
8:38 AM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
So some stuff has been more or less decided.
That my sis PSLE results aren't that bad. Woah. Okay, quite unexpected. That I kinda decided on Lego Rock Band, because of the songs. Yeah. That I'm pretty much dead next Monday. That I wanna keep my hair as long as possible. That I love music. That my heart is in pieces. All the time.
Huh, Mapling. LOL. No comments.
Okay, when I do this kind of stuff, I feel pretty weird. Wait, I feel that all the time.
Wheee.
Time for my brain to start getting messed up. Okay.
I've been having dreams, and thoughts. Hmm. Number 1, something very weird, and to some extent creepy. Why is it that some of my dreams, come true??? I mean, I dream of a place, and then it appears. No.1 I haven't even heard of it before, when I dream of it. I haven't seen it. I don't even know it. But then, weeks, months, years after that, I see it in real life. It happened pretty much a few times. At least 8 already? Maybe. Eg. I dreamt of the Universal Studios many months ago, without knowing anything about it. I clearly remember the dinosaur stone sculpture, the big lake thingy, even to the colour of the rock ground. Extremely weird. Then I see and hear about it recently. I mean, at that time, they weren't even building it yet.
Gahhh, weird.
And now number 2. What's up with the random feelings I get. I know myself that I don't really feel the whole "love at first sight" thing, cause I go through some automatic, unconscious yet self-induced heart lockdown. So I won't get my hopes so high. And I don't get THAT disappointed, sad, and depressed. So I won't yet again break this already flawed, cracked, fragile heart of mine. So it won't hurt so bad, so I won't fall so hard.
But then all this, the lockdown, lasts a while, and then I all of a sudden realise that I in some way or another, like a certain someone, regardless real, too fantastical, too unreachable, or even if its just fiction. Its like this unexplained feeling, that makes you just relax, cool down, and smile for no particular reason. It's like your heart just opens up, blooms like a flower in spring. You just blank out, feel so secure, and euphoric. Just, well high. Very much so.
Even if this will eventually lead to another scar, crack in my heart, I just don't care. At all.
But all this is also very unstable. Some are stronger, some or not as strong. Some last longer, some are flashes. But it feels great.
And I realise something. I found out that I actually fall more for a character. The inside. Yes, they all look good, cute, pretty. Whatever. But when I get to know them more, by reading about them, or watching them, in my eyes, they are no longer just a pretty face. There's something else. I just so suddenly feel so much differently about them.
Yes, though sometimes it may seem like its the looks. Yes, they matter a lot to me, but then, when I see a caring look, maybe a gentle caring smile and voice, it tells a lot. Even the silent contemplating. Its the character. Its the inside.
Now, looking back at the past 5 paragraphs, it looks like some random crap. But I wanted it off my chest I guess, and as retarded as it may sound. You know what? I don't care. I would gladly have this feeling back anytime. Really. Addictive, I must say. But then all wonderful things are addictive.
There's not really a name for this I guess. But I think I pretty much know what it is. XD
And a heart henceforth blossoms a bit more.
And towards this uncontrollable light I sprint on.
Annyeong.
Your Guardian Angel
Zhe Herng
Blossoming through these cracks
Quote of the Post
You can see more by looking at the immaterial, the inside, than you can looking at the outside shell. You can tell more, and feel more.
