Laments of the World

A Final Fantasy

2009-12-31T08:53:00.000-08:00

A Final Fantasy. Of mine.

I know I gotta write something before someone dies of boredom over here.

Yes. Final Fantasy. Its probably one of the most well known games around. One with one of the greatest legacy left over years in the whole of the gaming world. It is amazing. An awesome development with more to come. Yes, that means I'm officially hooked.

The storyline, gameplay, action, graphics. Awesome. It's unbelievable. From VII to even X and X-2. XII. And now XIII. It's out. I can't say how glad I am because its out on Xbox as well. 360. Whatever. But regrets on not getting a PS3 instead. All for this 1 game? FF? Well that goes to show how much FF is to me. Woah. Big.

I don't normally spend time to say how awesome or even use the word awesome but this is a whole new level. It also takes up more thinking space than Kpop does nowadays. That goes to show the importance. Its. PRO. IMBA. SKILLZ.

It kinda all started a few years back. Learnt a tiny tiny winnie bit about FF. Actually watched Advent Children though I didn't understand it. Almost totally. Also bought the gameplay walkthrough for X-2. That was awesome as well.

Now, a few years later, playing Crisis Core on the PSP. It was great. Then I went to check up wiki and all those crap for some of the later games. Eg. the all famous FFVII, X, X-2, XII and now XIII. Did check up on some other crap like IX and VIII. Hmmmm...

Well, on the 17th dec, the PS3 version was already out in Jap. Saw a few copies today.

Waiting on for Mar 2010, so I can get the 360 version. But there's no jap in 360, and PS3's version is better. Regrets on the 360. Since I got only 1 game, Halo 3 anyways. I still don't understand how I survived with only 1 game. For almost 3 years. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Have you seen the PS3 slim FFXIII lightning version. HOLY CRAP. 0.0

Cow. I want 1 of those. I really do.

So much.

And the game of course.

Have I mentioned that the Jap voice is the best. Original. But with eng subs. Why can't they do that???? Jap voice with eng subs and commands. Why??? It's either just jap which means good sound but I have no almost no idea what they are saying. And the attack commands, now there's a problem. Or the eng version, which means I understand everything but eng-dubbed is nowhere as nice as jap.

Just searching non-stop stuff in FF, especially FFXIII.

Again, I lament over getting Xbox 360. That FFXIII version is... *sigh*

Just searching tube on boss fights all those crap, endings. Whatever. And of course, the soundtrack for FFXIII. Woah. Out in Jan 27 2010. I'm getting one of those as well.

Naise.

Now while I'm typing this, I keep replaying Kimi Ga Iru Kara. The theme song for FFXIII. I have no friggin idea on WHY they put Leona lewis's "My hands" as the theme. Original. Please. Come on.

Urgh, that just ruined it. Song still playing. XD

For your viewing pleasure, here's the latest trailer subbed.

Heh. Awesome? Yes. :3

WOAH.

Can't wait at all.

This is so on the top of the list games to get. 1st. No competition.

Even something like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare looks so pathetic. Sorry if I offended you, but I so on the FF fanlist. So up there.

Now I'm having a fantasy of my own. If only. I could become one of the story writers for Final Fantasy. That job. Would be one of my first choices. All the way up there. With the singer, master composer, author, this is probably so much better than being a businessman. Who cares about the money when there's the passion. 10 years down the road, I'm gonna try my hand at this. A story director. Heh.

Big dream. Like a fantasy.

Back to reality. Time to change the blogskin soon. Must be sick and tired of hearing Moon Hee Jun sing Toy over and over again. Just wait. I'll make a new one. Final Fantasy style. Heh. With the soundtrack I hope. When I some how manage to get my hands on it.

Oh, new year. 1 hour and 33 min for the new year.

ZZZZZ.

Just keep waiting. I guess. Sighs.

So I just watched Avatar today. Great, awesome.

Wanting to watch Sherlock Holmes and Treasure Hunter one day. Zhou Jie Lun and Lin Chi Ling. Heh.

Sad. Back from Malaysia few days ago. I mean I would've wanted more than a 5 day stay. Usually during the dec hols, it would be something like 2 weeks. Sad.

Argh, few days left.

Now, with an imaginary and almost totally unachievable New Year's resolution, I start a New Year. Gratz to me. Good luck. Haiz.

Replaying Kimi Ga Iru Kara. Heh. Listen to it.

Yes, time to logout.

Will be Final Fantasizing again tomorrow. Heh. It's gonna be a while before this thing subsides. But my guess is that like Kpop, this is gonna stay as another passion.

Is it just me or am I discovering so many passions in 2009? Hope I can figure and somehow achieve some of them before something really happens in 2012. I need to realise more of the reasons and meanings that I still want to exist. In fantasy and reality both ways.

Well then.

BTW. short hair sux. I love my long hair. I miss it. Wait, sux is an understatement. Its total crap. Why can't I get an awesome long hairstyle like those Kpop artistes or Final Fantasy characters?

Okay then.

Annyeong. Sayonara.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

The glimmering lights are miniscule against the night sky.

Quote of the Post

Why bother staying grounded when we can look to the stars?

P.S that was the ending quote for the prologue of my book. Thinking of maybe, just maybe putting that on hold, while I start a final fantasy style story.

Ok, end of song, I'm gonna play it through the night.

Goodnight.

Some ppl haz teh cheezburger

2009-12-13T06:52:00.000-08:00

Whenz men and hiz kitteh met teh cheezburger...

LOL.

Waiting for more enjoyable stuff to happen really.

Cause after this, I'll be waiting for more exciting things. Like when Sunjay's gonna plan out the class outing. Hmmmm... or if anyone's gonna plan out something. Not that thats gonna happen anytime soon. Saddening.

Time to hope for some stuff.

Will be leaving for holiday soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's probably time to add more artistes into my music library. Whew. Some work has gotta be done here. Cause adding new songs and lyrics.... probably takes quite a while.

Just got back to guitar. My acoustic. Wheeee. Cause I really wouldn't want these few hundred [about 3] to go sploosh down the drain. Time to pick up the pick and start teh strumming. Just practiced a few rounds of "One Less Lonely Girl" by Justin Bieber. Went on to look up some "Before the Worst", saw the tabs, and pretty much stopped a while after. Hmmmmm....

Lamenting over the epic lack of guitar chords for Kpop songs and those nice singles. Really saddening. Why???? WHY IS THERE NO GOOD TABS??!?!?! P.S. Pretty much suck in the picking. Not good. Not good. Not good.....

Heh. When is the next Kpop related concert [which feature some of my favourite artistes] coming???? WHEN?????

And crying over the fact that SNSD's first concert is not here in Singapore. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Why is it just Korea, Shanghai [or Taiwan. Forgot. 1 of them] and Thailand? Sad..... so sad....

Volkswagon. Das Auto.

What???? LOL??????

Some more listing and writing left to do..... Practice and whatever crap. Cow.

Bleh. Blabbering nonsensically. Wheee. That's me. Whatever. Gack.

Okay. Ja na~ [See you later in Jap]

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

No goodbyes

Quote of the Post

One's own to one's own tempo in life.

Encore

2009-12-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....

Sorry, very high. Still very high. No, I'm not on drugs. I'm high on Kpop.

Yes, I've just been to the SunDown Festival, Seoul'd Out at Fort Canning Park. Seen some pretty authentic, smooth, artistic, action, cool, high, LOUD, sexy shiz.

My sis, dad and I went there this afternoon, errrr, I mean yesterday afternoon. Bleh bleh bleh. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, still very high.

First was the extremely LONG queue which stretched from the entrance all the way back. Few hundred meters. Gack. It was quite a long while. Hour+. Hmmmm....

It was so packed. And even before anything started, people started screaming when they see the advertisement, and Suju and DBSK popped up. *Screams* Ahhhhhhhh.... And then, suddenly the DJ goes on and play Ring Ding Dong. Epic. 2 secs into the start, you suddenly hear screams and then a loud chorus of "Butterfly~" and the "ring ding dong" part and the "fantastic/elastic" parts. Woah. Rush.

Yellow. Loads of Primadonnas there. Woah.

Started off with some traditional dance + traditional drums and music. Then came the exciting parts. Next were a group of artistic and talented yet humourous group of artists. First picture was good. But not incredible, cause it was just some pic of Singapore. Then, in 7min, the next guy uses this special block of paint to scratch out your typical beautiful chinese scenery painting. Hmmm. Then the amazing part. When the lights dimmed, under the different spectrum, the painting seem as if the waterfall [which was all black and white at first] seemed to flow. Blue. Colour. Change. Woah. Then the IMBA skillz. 10min, a finger/hand painted/scratched out picture of Napolean Bonaparte. The famous one where he's on the horse. WOAH. And the lights dimmed, and suddenly, beautiful black and white became beautiful, colourful painting.

B-Boying kicked ass. Group of guys with heck load of skillz. Look, feet not touching ground for 15secs, cause I'm just spinning on my hands. And move left right back forth. Spin. Flip. Can't really describe, was epic. Sorry Chen Wei, that was just pure skillz.

Then some strong vocals by Park Shi Nae. And some average rapping by Mario. Bleh. Fail. But some nice eng songs. Wow. And then here comes Lee Ji Su. Nice voice. Ballads. Hmmmm....

And here we go *screams*. T-max. Can't believe it, I was singing. Woah. Nice songs. And everything. Popular. Loud sounds. Noisy. High. Screaming. Singing. Wheee. And some particularly nice sparkler effects. Poof. People screaming for Kim Jun. Yun Hwa's high voice and skinny figure looked like a girl's. And ENCORE. Eh, guys, its pronounced On-cor not En-cor. But nevertheless. WHEEE.

EPIC>EPIC>EPIC!!!!!!!!! FT-Island. Sorry, my ears just went so muffled with the screaming. FTFTFTFTFTFTFT and HONGKIHONGKIHONGKI and so on. But today, noticed he looked less energetic as he usually was. But still, an amazing, energy filled performance. Wheee. The moment people heard the song Bare [I Hope] they went wild. Everyone was like screaming out the song. I was singing it pretty loud but couldn't really hear. Wadeva. Encore. Again. WOAH. High.

Rush. *More Screams* Brown Eyed Girls. Woah, some sizzling performance. Big woohoo. Songs were pretty great. I've just realised that their songs are actually quite nice. ZZZZZ. And now they've bought me over. So that brings my total favourite listen to Kpop female groups count to a grand total of 3. SNSD, Kara, Brown Eyed. But I do listen to others sometimes. FX. The Grace. 2NE1. So on. Then off with a bang, Abracadabra. Nice. And ENCORE> pretty much expected. Not that we had to scream much cause Brown Eyed were just by the side of the stairs. Like they expected this. Duh. Quite obvious.

Was a blast. Wheew. Still very high. Wanna scream. And sing. Got an urge to be some star now. So that I'm the one on top of that stage singing my heart's out. Singing well. With the whole fan crowd. Screaming, my group's name. Screaming my name. Woah. Heady dream.

Still wadeva this means, it was an enjoyable and unforgettable experience. LIVE. Woah. Eat that. Suansuansuansuan... Hehe

Time to wind down and sleep now. It's late. Very. 1.45am. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Kpopkpopkpopkpop.....

Annyeong...Saranghaeyo.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Scream my name [Hwang Ji Hang! Hwang Ji Hang! Ji Hang! Ji....]

Quote of the Post

Your performance was my encouragement.

Crying over stuff

2009-12-10T05:22:00.000-08:00

Just went to watch New Moon. Was reasonable. But just watching Jacob take off his shirt was...phew. Argh, sadded. I cry. Then after seeing him go topless, Edward taking off his shirt was like, peanut-ish. Some people just laughed. Like quite puny in comparison.

Gack. Thinking about other stuff too much. I still have a book and a few songs yet to start, let alone finish. Gack. Gack.

You know, this is turning out to be a bit crappy post.

Long pants. Check. Shweet.

And Chen Wei has yet to check his mailbox. Come on, back to your home already. I wanna see/hear his reaction. Whatever.

Why is it that imba drummers, guitarists etc, are so hard to find nowadays. Those who are good friends, don't slack off, and find me a reasonable singer. Those who are willing to form a band and are nice + not huge suaners. Especially those who enjoy the same music as me. Why are these people so hard to find nowadays?

Bam. Fullmetal Alchemist~

And music. Writing. List list list....

And crying over spilt milk. Whatever.

And over things that haven't happened yet. Also about things which won't happen.

Regretting over things done. Regretting over things not done.

Crap.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

HeartSoul~

Quote of the Post

Knowledge leads to a desire to acquire more.

The Leap of Faith

2009-11-29T07:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, what we really require is a leap of faith. Really, some trust and hope would be good. Sometimes, that's what we don't manage to get.

My sis just got a new laptop today. It's the Toshiba [same as mine] Satellite [different from mine]. It's pretty new, and sleek. Hmmm....

Tomorrow NPCC camp, I don't really care about how I feel about that now. But I should go to sleep earlier.

That means that I can't listen to loads of music [especially Kpop], watch documentaries [on discovery, nat geo and whatever else there is] like mythbusters, can't watch other programs [like animax, arirang, V, MTV and kbs world] and other stuff. That also means no more random com games and read up others blogs, edit mine, read up on the latest kpop news. Watch random kpop stuff, overload my com with anime like Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist etc. And read manga.

But on the very least, I'm not dying through the many countless methods that exists by either other humans, accidents and dear mother nature. Whee.

We still have our feet, so we can at least still continue walking forward.

So I won't whine. At least, try not to.

Sad, I just started on Fullmetal yesterday, but I'm on ep 30. Still have 21 more to go, and the unfinished episodes of the second season. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. Hmmm... One word? Maybe something like "truth". It does so well in bringing out the truth of our human nature. And maybe something like cool and awesome.

It's a good series. But they don't really go easy on the murder, blood, the bit of gore, and gruesome stuff. Like imploding one's body from the inside, and leaving just an exploded splat of blood on the wall. Bleh. And here, too many good die young/unfairly. Innocent+unfair death=disgusting+sad. But don't let that put you off.

Bye then. See you soon. I hope.

Hey, what am I complaining about again?

And I'm listening to A Boy by G-Dragon again. Catchy.

Annyeong.

Quote of the Post

My own falter and hesitation, they stopped me from accomplishing my goal. But that saved my soul.

Over With

2009-11-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

Inspiring people feels good. But whether I'm inspiring them to do stuff which are more unappealing and weird. Oh, not good. And perhaps piss them off. Ah, now that doesn't feel good. This is of course assuming people actually listen to my ranting.

Sometimes, you just wanna get things over with. Believe me, I know.

Now, I've basically been spending my whole days tuning into the tv. And spending 75% of that time on Discovery Channel. Nice. Now I just find some shows plain awesome. Like Mythbusters. And recently, Deadliest Catch.

Yes, with all the swearing and censoring in 1 out of 3 sentences, and some pushing and shoving. And bad luck, and arguing, and some fingers. As well as more swearing. It's pretty awesome. Yes, even with the swearing even when you encounter some good crab fishing. I mean, like quote: "Yeah! Yes! Yeah! -beep- Yeah!" when there's a good catch. And like "Oh, -beep-cold...labour...tired... -beep- crab. -beep- fishing...storm...30 foot seas... -BEEP!-" Yeah, stuff like that, I guess it makes the show more interesting. Life on board a Bering Sea fishing boat, looking out for good crab fishing.

Interesting, but I'm not yet willing to lay down my life for some heck of a ride on the seas, high waves, stormy weather, dangerous situations, bad luck, swearing, tension, going without sleep for 30 hours doing back breaking labour routine and getting nothing but blank pots in the wet and cold. Yeah stuff like that. You know.

Let's get this over with. Seriously.

With some more hoping.

And guys, seriously, if you think I'm emo, then that's a tad bit too extra. Cause, this is called thinking about things average guys don't think about. Not oh, I'm feeling depressed, so I'm off for a bit to the kitchener to get the knife and start slicing my wrist. That's emo. I just...uh...just think and worry more than others. You know. And who says writing poems and other stuff, craping about sensitive subjects like love on blogs, listening to multitudes of music=emo? It's called expressing feelings. It's just something I do in different ways than many others.

Oh, and come on, my singing isn't that bad. It's just that I'm not that good with voice control over stuff like pitching. Especially when it comes to the high end. And I enjoy doing it. It's like a passion. Yes, despite the different languages. Heh.

Okay, I'm dead on monday. The prospects of walking with all your load for camp at 3am in the morning from Bishan all the way to Changi probably does that to you. Anticipation. That is if it hasn't scared the crap out of you and left you witless.

Bleh, what am I complaining about. Come on, after watching all the harsh, tough, traumatising, close death/death encounters on screen on Discovery/Nat Geo. What am I whining about? I'm not stuck in the middle of the Bering Sea risking my life for crab. I'm not stranded in the middle of the sea screaming futilely for help. I'm not being held hostage by random terrorists in a enclosed death filled hotel. I'm not trapped on a burning ship with nowhere to go but down into the water. I'm not in a tall building that's about to collapse any moment.

Come on, what am I whining about a miserable trek compared to a mind-boggling hike across the barren wastelands of Russia looking for some signs of life in the blistering cold. Why am I so apprehensive of push-ups/punishment when I could be dying alone in some corner of a desert? Why am I worrying about lack of sleep when I could be in the Bering Sea, catching crab, doing back-breaking work, risking my life without sleep for 20+ hours? Why am I worried about the food, when I could be drinking my own pee to survive?

I won't die of starving, hypothermia/hyperthermia, fever, poison, venom, dehydration, being brutally ripped apart by wild animals, exhaustion, being shot at, drowning, burning, suffocation, and all the other painful random shiz. I'm just away in school for a slightly tiring NPCC camp.

So what am I complaining about???

Okay, I guess this self-induced prep talk is gonna make me feel better? Not that much, but helps a bit. But not the results I was hoping for. Goes to show how selfish we normal people are, only caring about your own pathetic situations. In most cases of course. There are the exemplary exceptions.

Okay, annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Trying not to complain

Quote of the Post

When you think that luck's tough, then think again. A fellow human is probably getting his ass kicked by mother nature or something and is dying out there. He's probably already dead. So don't whine about pathetic miscellaneous shiz that much.

The insides

2009-11-26T08:38:00.000-08:00

So some stuff has been more or less decided.

That my sis PSLE results aren't that bad. Woah. Okay, quite unexpected. That I kinda decided on Lego Rock Band, because of the songs. Yeah. That I'm pretty much dead next Monday. That I wanna keep my hair as long as possible. That I love music. That my heart is in pieces. All the time.

Huh, Mapling. LOL. No comments.

Okay, when I do this kind of stuff, I feel pretty weird. Wait, I feel that all the time.

Wheee.

Time for my brain to start getting messed up. Okay.

I've been having dreams, and thoughts. Hmm. Number 1, something very weird, and to some extent creepy. Why is it that some of my dreams, come true??? I mean, I dream of a place, and then it appears. No.1 I haven't even heard of it before, when I dream of it. I haven't seen it. I don't even know it. But then, weeks, months, years after that, I see it in real life. It happened pretty much a few times. At least 8 already? Maybe. Eg. I dreamt of the Universal Studios many months ago, without knowing anything about it. I clearly remember the dinosaur stone sculpture, the big lake thingy, even to the colour of the rock ground. Extremely weird. Then I see and hear about it recently. I mean, at that time, they weren't even building it yet.

Gahhh, weird.

And now number 2. What's up with the random feelings I get. I know myself that I don't really feel the whole "love at first sight" thing, cause I go through some automatic, unconscious yet self-induced heart lockdown. So I won't get my hopes so high. And I don't get THAT disappointed, sad, and depressed. So I won't yet again break this already flawed, cracked, fragile heart of mine. So it won't hurt so bad, so I won't fall so hard.

But then all this, the lockdown, lasts a while, and then I all of a sudden realise that I in some way or another, like a certain someone, regardless real, too fantastical, too unreachable, or even if its just fiction. Its like this unexplained feeling, that makes you just relax, cool down, and smile for no particular reason. It's like your heart just opens up, blooms like a flower in spring. You just blank out, feel so secure, and euphoric. Just, well high. Very much so.

Even if this will eventually lead to another scar, crack in my heart, I just don't care. At all.

But all this is also very unstable. Some are stronger, some or not as strong. Some last longer, some are flashes. But it feels great.

And I realise something. I found out that I actually fall more for a character. The inside. Yes, they all look good, cute, pretty. Whatever. But when I get to know them more, by reading about them, or watching them, in my eyes, they are no longer just a pretty face. There's something else. I just so suddenly feel so much differently about them.

Yes, though sometimes it may seem like its the looks. Yes, they matter a lot to me, but then, when I see a caring look, maybe a gentle caring smile and voice, it tells a lot. Even the silent contemplating. Its the character. Its the inside.

Now, looking back at the past 5 paragraphs, it looks like some random crap. But I wanted it off my chest I guess, and as retarded as it may sound. You know what? I don't care. I would gladly have this feeling back anytime. Really. Addictive, I must say. But then all wonderful things are addictive.

There's not really a name for this I guess. But I think I pretty much know what it is. XD

And a heart henceforth blossoms a bit more.

And towards this uncontrollable light I sprint on.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Blossoming through these cracks

Quote of the Post

You can see more by looking at the immaterial, the inside, than you can looking at the outside shell. You can tell more, and feel more.

Personality and locks and decisions

2009-11-25T07:26:00.000-08:00

Personalities and locks. And certain decisions.

And some other shiz. Wadeva.

I'm a ENFP. Personality type. Go check it up if you want. Same as Yaim, surprisingly. Hmm. Some interesting thought here.

Time for a roll. MAMA [or Mnet Annual Music Awards or something like that] was sad. Fine, it was quite fail. Cause SM boycotted and some other random groups. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Oh, and Khun getting seduced by Ivy was epic.

Going back, listening to more kpop, and wadeva random music shiz i come across. Hmm.

I gotta make a decision. I feel like getting Band Hero. Nice songs. But then I want Rock Band. Cause the number of of nice songs i know that you can buy. However, you have to BUY them. Urgh. The original songs in RB and RB 2 both kinda suck. I can't possibly be singing When You Were Young by the Killers for 2 hours. Gah. Or even like we were, at Yaim's sleepover. Not possible. BUT, RB lego has nice songs too. Gahh. Go check the list yourselves. And help me decide.

Ah, but the problem is, I haven't actually got the permission to get either one. Hmmm. It's sad to only have Halo 3 as your only game. This past 2+ years. Sad.

Either ways. Wait what am I saying? Never mind.

But singing The Kill by 30 seconds to mars in the toilet, the room, the house, and the car may seem a bit mad. But its a nice song.

Screamy. But nice. One of the only screamy songs that appeal to me. Their songs are pretty nice, despite the screaming. But I need the lyrics of From Yesterday. Cause, the only part I know is just the chorus part that goes, "From Yesterday~". Yeah, okay.

And preparation for next year's Rafflesian Spotlight is good. Practice is always good. Woah, I sound like I'm a singer. Singing careers. Hmmm. I don't mind. If I can even make the cut. So who's up for making some band. Having hopes of camping in with Arjun's sound a little off. Anyway, they have a singer/guitarist, Gerald. So the idea probably some mental plan, but not as scary as being some international Kpop artiste. Or anything of that sort.

Yaim's sleepover was great. Going mental, then spamming Xbox 360, PS3 and the com does that to you. And its probably some trend that whenever you stay up late, with your friends, someone goes a bit mad. Hyper. And high. Woah, don't get the wrong idea. No drugs. But it always happens. Interesting trend. Especially when you yourself are the unfortunate retard. Like I said, staying up till 5+ does that to you.

And that's after watching some random Ben 10 episode. Yes, that retarded.

And then waking up to the sounds of some random hokkien song, Wo wen tian. Wah men tien. Yeah, wadeva. Epic crazy. Woah.

At least I managed to clean up the second floor's living room and kitchen. I swear, the mess was killing me. I can't believe it, but in a sleepover party with a group of guys, I do some washing up. Woah, that's bordering insane. I'd bet that if I somehow found a mop, I would mop the kitchen, cause it was so sticky. But I did it nonetheless. I bet some people were thinking I'm mad, but who cares.

The next day, the living room was in its original state, so effort in vain. And Dion stayed up all night, and slept in the morning at what? 10? LOL.

Was fun. Wouldn't mind doing that again. XD

Crocodile Tears, just finished reading it. I'm hooked on to fiction. See. Pretty much the same as I'm hooked onto singing. And Kpop. But its all different in some way or another.

Not really gonna fanboy now. I'm not in the mood.

That's pretty much a first.

Sorry, thoughts pretty much messed up right now.

And starting to play Maple??? Wait. That's gotta be a sign. When you play maple again, it means you are mad. Or really bored. I'm a bit of both.

Gack. Sian is sian.

And NP camp next week. Bye world.

Gotta get some workout.

As well as go watch some MythBusters every weekday afternoon at 1 on discovery. Woah. I mean, its cool, and like boomz. Loads of boomz. Explosions I mean.

Shingz and all shiny things. Gotta really start the book I talked about. Gotta also start the composing and songwriting I talked about as well.

With my sister's help on the piano. Yes, I'm that desperate.

And her PSLE results are tomorrow. Heh.

Time to zao, before I write an even longer letter.

Woah. Chill.

Singh, when/where is our outing??????

Sorry, Chen Wei, just wait for a while more. Please?

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Unrestrained lockdown

Quote of the Post

I don't feel love at first sight. No, the feeling only comes after a while. I've realised that I automatically lockdown this heart of mine. So delusions and false hope and disappointment don't hurt that much. I'm sorry.

Revert

2009-11-10T03:43:00.000-08:00

So, goodbyes up next. And for everyone. Good luck. Miss you. Keep in touch. Goodbye. That sort of stuff. This goes out to all those people who's been by my side or close enough, those of you who're walking down some different road.

Now I sound like a hen-pecked mother, or some sort of singer with a dedication. I prefer the latter. Good training for my future career. Maybe. At least some practice for my passion of singing.

Time to pick out my own road too. Or well, one of the small paths. This is quite the small scale.

Time just won't revert back.

So do our decisions.

And don't tell me about bending the 4th dimension, the time fabric. So tell me. If we were able to go back in the past or future, then it would already have happened. Already decided. Ah, paradoxes. But paradoxes only exist if you assume there are no parallel universes. Infinite number of them.

But I'm not gonna be able to figure this out. I'm not scientist, or a genius. Not a theoretical scientist, or a astrophysicist. So never mind.

Using slang here, I'm gonna go with the flow. And even if I can go back, I'm just gonna mess up the past. But that means that it would already have happened. Ah, never mind.

Ok. Back to something more simple. I've got more free time now, so watching and reading anime. And trying to get to writing poems and my book. Anyone here who's got contacts with authorised publishers and editors, mind passing me the contacts? Or if you have any way to help me with publishing, just drop a message or something. Appreciate your help.

And some more random stuff. Just started on Combat Arms. I think its pretty similar to a mix of Halo and Counterstrike. And some Gunz. It's fun, and more importantly, easier than Gunz. K-styling and stuff like that. On a side note. Duranka's imba. 30:7 lol. That was crap for me.

I'm a constant lagger on the com.

It's also time to put in my subject combination for sec 3. Geo his chem phy.

And some kpop fanboying?

Heh.

Personally, his hair style's kinda not very nice. Ok, honestly, it's crap.

Like some/most G-dragon/Big Bang songs, it kinda grows on you. The singing is weird. So is the MV, but the tune is quite catchy. Oh, and if you stop somewhere around 2:22, you will randomly see Yoona's face at the top left corner of the crying robot ace thingy. Just above the eye.

Random.

But appreciated all the same. Since its SNSD.

Heh.

I must be real mad about those girls.

Well, that's one reason for my Fanboyism.

Oh, and have I mentioned how cool Mythbusters is?

And ending off with a special note to my class CEC. WHERE AND WHEN IS OUR CLASS OUTING??!??!

Okay, more loud than special. But you get the point.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Goodbye

Quote of the Post

When you get tired of the long winding road which you took to your destination, sometimes, its possible, you cut your own road and shortcut.

Just get on with it

2009-11-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

Quick. Just get on with it. Come on.

That's for loads of things, I guess you could say. Yes, it is true that I'm back to watching Bleach. Heh. It's nice, but I'm constantly waiting for the next episodes for both the manga and the filler anime.

Just waiting and waiting and waiting. Sigh.

Kinda broke out from the Kpop trance of just listening to korean music. BUT, fortunately or unfortunately, I still think I listen to Kpop the most. Heh. Back to a bit of Jpop since watching Bleach. Shoujo S~ by Scandal

And Aqua Timez, Yui etc. You know.

Been listening to english as well. Listening to Keeper by Yellowcard now, as I'm writing this sentence. Heh. Was listening to The Script, Live Like We're Dying and Before the Worst, quite a few times. *bling bling*

Ok. NPCC shooting in the morning tomorrow. Gotta bring uniform. Sian. Its a reshoot by the way. Yeah. But still sad.

And on to the waiting. Yes. Whatever. Waiting for what? heh heh *winks*

Ok. Unnecessary, but you get the point.

"kay. Here's a toast to all the NCOs and Sec 4 seniors leaving! [If anyone actually reads this anyway] WOOO!

Ya. Basically to all the NCOS, especially my squad's NCOs, Chen Wei, Khairi, Sean Lim Ren Hua and Wen Zheng. Hey sirs, thanks for everything! Through all the experiences and crap, seems that we've been through a lot. Thanks for your [almost] unending patience. Your kindness, friendships and what not. Hey, it's been quite fun. Quite. Truthfully speaking, sometimes, its been crap, but, whad'ya know? It's been heck loads of fun [in some way or another]. Yeah, you probably get what I mean. Even with all the pumping and punishments. Heh. So, here's wishing you the best of luck for everything else!

P.S. Chen Wei, you're welcome in advance [if u don't get this, then just wait for a while I guess]

P.S.S Must keep in touch! Or something. And get together to fanboy. Something like that.

Ok. I'm done. After listening to The Kill by 30 seconds to mars.

Quite happy today. Thus, I shall sleep early. Thx to some stuff. Chen Wei, I think you will be just as ecstatic in a few days. Oh, and please tell me if you read this message. Or I won't know whether you even visit my blog. T.T

XD I shall be off. Whoosh!

Annyeong! Kamsamnida!

Zhe Herng

Guardian Angel

Waiting again

Quote of the Post

You never know how much you will yearn for something if you don't have it.

Back to business and basics

2009-10-29T07:59:00.000-07:00

Let's start once again. I know it's been a few months now, so here I am again. It's quite long. But who cares.

I got a yoyo, its a legacy. Not bad eh? But quite noob. I can't handle the unresponsiveness well.

Got 3.2 for chinese EOY. Not so bad. But wished it was better. Like always.

There goes my 3.6 GPA. Poof. But over is over. So I want to care about that. What's done is done. So leave it all in the past.

Back to facebooking and fanboying. YES! FANBOYING FTW! SO there. Ha.

Wheee. Got loads to talk about. Been going to library. Camp preparations. Teehee. Amazing race=*sighs*

And heck load of stuff. Getting papers back. I'm dead and whatever.

Can't choose subjects. Thinking about double science and double humans. And maybe drop malay. Sadded. No time lah.

With CCA and merit CCA and all. And mugging. And loads more.

Sorry people. Go ahead and suan me. It's ok. And discourage me. Doesn't matter. Some things, I've set out to do. This time, I'm gonna do it. For the people I care about and doing the things I love. So to hell with failure. And who cares.

This applies to everything. Right down to me writing my book. Yes, I know my chances. I know that it is highly unlikely. And my skills are probably low quality and standards. But you can't judge can you? Did you ever read any of my prose? No, I think not. But hey, I've not even tried properly. It's not fair to judge. And I know the truth sucks. But I'm nowhere near giving up. Not a chance.

And for your information. I'm not doing this for money. Don't ask me the reason. It won't make sense to you anyway. No. It won't. Not ideal, feasible, rational or logical. But for me, it's like a chance. So I'm grabbing it. I'm gonna make opportunities. Or at least attempt to.

Yes, I know it may be futile. Hey, I know you aren't trying to discourage me. Just stating facts. But if I don't try, how would you know what the result will be? Can anyone here predict the future? No, I don't think so.

Senseless or not. I will try. I will make that effort. Even if it leads to naught. Just the same for singing. It's like a passion. Something I can't bear to give up no matter the numerous times I fail. It's part and parcel of my life and actions.

So I will try.

Cheers, but I'm not the logical guy. So many things, the choices, decisions, ideas, all based on my emotions, likings, preferences, feelings, passions. Yes, that's what makes everyone selfish in a unselfish way. Or the other way around. Live it through.

Sad, but that's me. There's a reason, why there's no 2 people who think exactly alike. But that's the beauty of it.

Going back to my life. Results fail and everything. Got a whole list of things to do. And just awaiting for stuff to happen. Hopefully a good chance.

Something optimistic.

Something big.

Something spectacular.

Something that will change my life.

For the better.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Signing off

Quote of the Post

It's not just about thinking it. It's about trying. And about making the effort to try in the first place.

It's creeping on me

2009-09-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

You know it, sense it when things are coming. It doesn't sound that fantastic though. Worrying.

But I'm always worrying. So does that mean I'm just overreacting? Hopefully.

Then when you think things can't get any worse. It gets worse. Hell load of worse.

And you die. Or get pwned. Or both.

Too bad. Lines over. Shuffle off. And end of story.

This is seriously a disaster just waiting to occur. And I'm referring to many things here. Might as well just say it. I'm just waiting to get pwned. Really bad.

Mugging some this weekend. Could have been more slack. But math CCT. So no rejections. But still ended up procrastinating I guess. Ah well. SIGHS*

Gahh. F1 was not as drama as last year though, so not bothering to elaborate. Now, quick post, I guess.

Epic. I ended up laughing as well. Like really bad. Eunhyuk's hooked. So are some of the rest. Hankyung and Kibum lag. And Yesung no effect though. Hmmm. Intriguing. Was laughing like mad just watching them laugh. XD

Go watch this series. Explore human body, all with suju. All subbed. Great. Really nice. And funny.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Sudden change

Quote of the Post

The worse they could do was to torture me, kill me. You... you can reject me, leave me... Break my very being and purpose. Shatter my whole heartsoul, my reality and world.

Harder than stone

2009-09-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

Harder than stone, is truth. It hurts so much. Crap. The harder you fall when you hit truth, someday, truth's just gonna kill one of us. Sad.

That doesn't stop people from flying though. Soaring above reality is just so hard to resist. Not all of us. Not me. Just staying on hard solid stones is too much to bear. Won't you rather take the risk to fly and soar?

That's what makes risky things so much more tempting.

And so we all risk things to dream. We go.

So playing and some mugging works. Will try sleeping earlier, then wake up. Maybe some gym, then mug. Mug. MUG.

Off we go to fly again.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Reaching for the air

Quote of the Post

Hitting concrete hurts. Reality hitting you hurts much more.

Just that once?

2009-09-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

Many times now, I'm starting the title of my post with a phrase. That's got meaning of course.

Just that once...?

All I could only wish was just once. Hoping. Like all the world didn't matter anymore. Hard. Pain. Anything. For a chance. For my wishes. To reject this overbearing truth. For once.

To you. I gift myself.

And just once. I listened to Moon Hee Jun's TOY, and I'm hooked. Extremely nice song. And Moon Hee Jun was part of a 90's band, H.O.T. But now not singing much. But this song is great. Here we go.

Nice song. It's the kind of emo song, starts with an emo verse. Then strong chorus. Actually didn't think of him much as a singer. Now he's more of a host, MC. He's an MC on intimate note. And to some extent gagman. Then again many artistes are gagmen, for the fun of it. But its a nice song.

While on the other hand. Epik High's new album. The song Gift is also nice. Heh. Slow with a slightly classic tune. But with rap. As always. But nice mix.

Weighing me down you say? Took away my sense of gravity more like.

Gah. I feel tired. But the exams will come and go. Fast. And then I always lose my sense time. All present and time seem to fade away into inexistence. Doesn't make sense anyway.

Doesn't matter either.

I'm just like this.

Hoping to be able to compose some of my own music and lyrics. Songs. I wish. Anyone got good free music song composer softwares or something.

I tried writing lyrics with no music but impromptu. Why am I constantly not pleased? *sigh*

Gone. Hurts. Weathered away.

All gone.

Annyeong. My heart.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

What's gone

Quote of the Post

I don't think there was a real beginning. Then, naught, a real end. They're nothing. Meaningless expressions of time.

That feel

2009-09-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

You know, when you listen to some songs. Those with especially nice tunes. You feeling changes according to the mood. Woah. Those are called great songs. Songs you can identify with.

So here's some songs for certain feelings. Yeah. With the random quote to describe it. So here goes.

Kpop- The feeling awards *drumroll*

In no particular order...

1) "That switch between the happy and the emo"

Award goes to...Fight the Bad Feeling by T-Max

2)"Can't get enough"

[Replay] Noona neomu yeppeo by Shinee

3)"Uplifting"

Yearning of the Heart by AST'1

4)"Too beautiful love to describe. With the extreme emo touch"

Love in the Ice by DBSK

5)"That missing piece. Found"

Complete by SNSD

That's all for now. Cause I've got to chiong work. Phew.

But many things help me now.

I'm now getting slightly hooked to Lachata. Ok. Unexpected, but there are always the few songs that don't sound so nice at the start, then you just get hooked. Slowly, but surely. Same with Betrayed. By Tae Goon. Catchy tune. Actually Call me wasn't bad either.

But listening a lot to Suju's Why I like you. Especially since I got the album.

AND YES. FYI, I got Kara Revolution, SNSD mini albums, and Suju's Sorry Sorry. Hah. EAT THAT! I got an album [Kara's] that's not released in Asia except Korea. Ha!

Sorry if I was a bit harsh. Just wanted some suaning privileges. But all thanks to Dong Chan. And his free delivery service straight from Korea. Yays!

Doing science atomic bomb now, kinda. And gotta mug for geog. Tomorrow. And all the other crap we have.

MOV drama challenge was a blast. Great. Will not speculate much, but I think we did well. Judges were laughing along at our play the most. Half because of wordplay. Success.

And off we go. I don't wanna sleep so late today.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Feelings

Quote of the Post

Don't fade away, my illuminating light. Be by my side forever.

Dried stream

2009-09-17T08:27:00.001-07:00

The water once flowed. The soft gurgle, splash of the water. All dried up now.

Just like those tears.

Hey. Sorry if you can't take the emo-ness or anything.

We had some screwed practice. Drama challenge. Woah. And some random monkey involving flying bottles.

Empty ones.

Even more sorry for the lousy post. I don't wanna spend too much time. Or whatever. This sorry is sincere, unlike the firs one. Heh. XD

And about Kpop. Sorry. But Kpop rocks. Okay, this wasn't exactly sincere either. Woah. What's up with me.

Just biding my time. I'm a lost cause anyway.

Listening to some Eminem songs though. See, Melvin, I like music. But Kpop's still great. But getting back to other kinds like english, chinese, some jap? Not as much as Kpop though. Sorry. Hey.

Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful~ Woah~ They can all get - just stay true to you~ woah~

Nice song. Nice lyrics. Meaningful. One of my favourite english rappers. Nice.

And Melvin. This is gonna turn into some mad war. Kpop vs Eminem. Ouch. Heh. Just joking.

Messed up I guess.

And listening more to Suju M though. Ru guo, quan shi jie wo ye ke yi fang qi~

Here's the vid.

A very nice song. Something from a while back. Not sure. Sung by Lin Yi Lian.

Now the korean version. Beautiful~

Very nice. *applause* Seriously great tune. It's a great chinese song.

And I'm off. I need to do some homework and stuff. But while listening to nice songs. Like suju M. Don't feel like listening to english at night now.

Sorry Melvin. That means Eminem some other time.

I must stop with the insincere "sorry"s though. Sorry. XD

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Drying up

Quote of the Post

I couldn't stop. I couldn't breathe. But without thinking of you. I wouldn't live.

Slipstream conscience

2009-09-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Slipstream. I really wanna enter that, and place myself past this space-time period. Pseudo space transport myself. Rip a hole and get out of here. Warping this plane/dimension. Whatever. warping space-time. Just out of here.

Before I tear myself apart. Heh.

Conscience. I really wonder what will happen to that. Placed under different situations, eg. loss of functional body host. And when I mess around with reality. This shifting dimension. With no fully stable equilibrium. Never.

Won't happen. Just like many other things. Just won't happen.

And I'll just keep thinking. So, anyways, should I pick up some astrophysics and learn some concepts? Like quantum mechanics? Nah, not now.

I will constantly tell myself to mug now. Really now, so I can pull up my grades. Cause like my math sucks, my history not so good. My malay is now a total fail. I didn't fail, but there goes my 4.0 Cause my cikgu really isn't that good a teacher. i wish cikgu hafizah was back. T.T There goes my grades. And want to improve history, math, chinese [always], my science as a whole. And now malay. Retain geog, english want to improve. Then again I want to improve as much as I can. All subjects.

Haiz. Ranting. Will write a poem soon though. And I want to compose a song, but my music really isn't good. Man, some nice tune, and I'll figure some lyrics. Got ideas for tunes, but my memory and background knowledge and foundation fails. So no deal.

Though now I got something to look forward to tomorrow. Dong Chan's getting me my CDs. Heh heh. Joy. Now I also can suan people. I got the Kara album not released to Asia yet. Heh. Yeah. But I really hope its the special edition or something though. As long as there is that photobook. Hopefully. That will make my week.

Kamsamnida!

Sorry. Not really fanboying today. I know. I'm sad too. =.=

Okay, not much, so I'm out. Wish I could go into slipstream though. At least this miserable conscience of mine. Into slipstream.

Annyeong!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Slipping into slipstream[not]

Quote of the Post

Life never makes any sense. So do facts and science and proven theories. They make sense only because we think them to make sense. Nothing really does. Nothing.

Self extinguishing flames

2009-09-12T02:50:00.000-07:00

Ha. Like a burning fire, that extinguishes itself. Of course, I could say a waterproof sponge. But that would sound more retarded. But its the same thing. You just you're doing really great, then, you realise that you actually just screwed yourself. Sucks.

So we await the next few days. I've got mixed feelings really. Huh. Don't want holidays to end. But want to go back to school to get new KARA, SNSD and Suju albums. And hopefully Kara and SNSD photobooks. Holy crap, I almost have the feeling that school should be tomorrow. The power of Kara and SNSD. Woah. That's some imba power. Screws your willpower instantly. Of course, if you know how to channel it, you better improve on things. Like I don't know, studies? Get high, and you're able to mug for what? 30 more minutes? Woah.

Then again, like a self-extinguishing fire. Or a waterproof sponge. Or well, at the risk of being cliched, a double-edged sword. Crap. I don't care though. Heh. XD

And so we go to screw ourselves again. Do you have any idea, many misfortunes are caused by yourself. Sad, indirect or direct, it somehow links back to you and your actions. Fail in life. Some screwed glitch.

If only you could hack into this screwed game of LIFE. Not the board game. The real thing. Bleh. And you can't cheat. No way.

On a lighter note. I'm really starting to like Heart Breaker by G-Dragon. It grows on you. Does. Your my heart heart heart heart heart breaker~ No way~ Now way~

School in a few more days. Woah. Like I said, its two sided. Like Hate You Love You, or Miwuh by Suju. Man, love that song. Miwuhago shipeunde~

Fanboying? At these rate, I'll run out of pics... So I don't know.

So some comparison time.

Zhang Dong Liang and DongHae. Similar. Very.

Maybe another comparison next time.

Wait....

I do not believe I have posted this before. Okay, done.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Contradiction

Quote of the Post

You can't cheat Life. You can't cheat Death. You can't cheat reality. You can only cheat yourself.

Running around

2009-09-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Woah. We had to meet up this morning. For library. And we planned the amazing race for the camp. Was quite fast coming up with the locations. And of course, we chose good locations, since the 7 exco who have to plan this, have to wait at the stations, for like 3 hrs, and we have no idea when the next group will come. But it will be great.

Of course, the locations were shopping malls, good for us. Since we are planning, might as well make things easy for us. For them, not bad going. Participants I mean. So we ended up with 7 locations, including RI. The start and finish. After much changing, and extra suggestions like Sim Lim Square or Funan or something, reasons being extremely obvious, so that the exco won't die of boredom waiting, we came up with these locations around the civic district. Somewhere there.

-RI

-Ion [Orchard]

-Plaza Singapura [Dhoby Ghaut]

-CityLink [City Hall]

-Vivocity [Habourfront]

-The Heeren [Somerset]

-Suntec City [Somewhere close to City Hall]

Ya. Those are the places. I chose The Heeren due to one outstanding factor. The 3 storey HMV. Ya. That is like some solace. Or something, so I can spend few hours there instead of on the bench playing the PSP or something. Hui Chiang took Plaza Sing, in Times. And Chuan Kai got Ion. Some wide area on B4. Issac took RI. Joshua koped Vivo. So Melvin, quickly choose, I suggest City Link, cause there's a HMV there as well. Heh.

Sure, we have to have some activity there so they can get the next clue to the next location. So things like find this shop came up. But just for fun, how about something like look for this CD in HMV and buy it for me. So I don't tekan you. Heh heh.

If you really want some better idea, one of you can replace something with Taka, then you can camp in Kinokuniya. You won't get bored. Heck load of books.

And since we were so free, Chuan Kai, me, Hui Chiang and Issac, went on this route. Easy compared to NPCC, we get to use public transport. In NP, we just walk. All the way. And though we didn't go to certain places, like Suntec, since they are so far, we just went to most of them. And we had lunch in Vivo. Took a while though. But should be fine. And Hui Chiang is going to find a date so all 7 of us exco can go test this route out.

I kinda thought up of an activity that doesn't involve screwing our school reputation. How about find this CD for me. But seeing as I'm some Kpop fanatic, and I listen to Cpop, Jpop and english music as well. Heh, lets see their music knowledge. And maybe some trick questions like "find Kara's latest album, Kara revolution" [FYI, this album is only released in Korea] Heh. But by then it should probably be released.

And if they fail miserably, I guess there's always the few question option. Which involves me taking a leaf out of Chen Wei's book [he asked us "Is sohee from the Wonder Girls chio?" If you actually go to his blog, you will find out that just like me, he likes SNSD much better, though now, he likes F(X). Am I right Chen Wei? I'm just as crazy about Kara now. Then we got to play soccer after answering no. Wow.] See. Don't we all love the few ridiculous questions option? However, if they still fail, I got nothing to say. I mean, haven't I already publicised about SNSD and Kara enough?? And suju for that matter, but still... So, as a last resort, my few ridiculous questions will be like "who's better? SNSD or WG? SNSD or 2ne1? Kara or F(X) [sorry Chen Wei...]? Something like that.

If they still fail. Then I'll be very sad, so they can either buy me a Kpop album, or they can do 50 pushups. Yay! Just kidding la. But if I'm sadistic that day, then too bad. Heh heh heh. Wait! I know, I can make them dance to some song like Honey by Kara. If I'm feeling sadistic, they can do some ssanti dance. But that would ruin our reputation. Like "Why the hell are those group of RI boys doing in front of HMV doing some sleazy nightclub dance? WTF?" Ya, something like that. So I'll probably stick to dancing Honey, or maybe Kara's Wanna. Hey, their screwed either way.

So folks, before we actually get a chance to tekan this group of people. It is time for massive amounts of MUGGING. I probably won't make it far, but I'll try. Somehow. One way or another.

But really looking forward to this. Really.

Just as much as I'm waiting for Dong Chan to come back from Korea with Suju, SNSD and Kara albums. And hopefully photobooks. If he actually managed to find photobooks, it could almost make me wanna go to school willingly. God, that's like almost virtually impossible for RI students. Life's always been this sad I guess.

Good lord, PHOTO BOOKS!!! Wheee~ Solace.

Fanboying? Kinda. But you can just stare at the pictures of Kara in the previous post. FYI those pictures are from Kara Photobook. And if I can lay my hands on that... Like I said, I'll be a happy man. Albeit the part where I become hyper and high.

So here we go.

Nice hairstyles, disheveled look, but looking great as ever. Wheets. HAIZ~

And that's from their latest album. Oh, and before I forget, I have another comparison. Many people from the Kpop industry look a lot like Zhang Dong Liang, say from different angles. Eg. DongHae from Suju, Hyun Joong from SS501 and maybe some others. But go check their pictures. I'll put them up next post or something. Really alike I tell you.

So I take my leave.

Annyeong!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Waiting again

Quote of the Post

Are our paths already forged for us? Or do we have some control over our destinies?

Overload warning

2009-09-09T09:07:00.001-07:00

It was quite good today. Let's skim through the details then.

So I went to Scott's house today. Heh. And played halo a while. But it was deja vu all over again, 3 vs 1, cause its becoming a routine to gang me. But doing quite well. First was snowbound, but that was crap. But swords on valhalla ended with 33-50. I lost of course, but I got 33, an amazing feat if you're against 3 guys and all swords. And they had Scott and Leonard. Leonard's especially good with swords, but hey, what do you know? Not bad eh?

But before that, I went to City Link HMV and got a KARA album! Yay! The 2nd mini album, which was $32. But still. Couldn't find SNSD, out of stock, so was Suju Sorry Sorry, the 3rd album. And I really wanted KARA's latest album, KARA Revolution, but its only in Korea. Sad.

But hey! I enlisted Dong Chan's help. And he's getting me KARA, SNSD and Suju albums. Good man. Thank you so much! Kamsamnida! Really, he just saved my sorry ass. Or something. Ya.

Whee. But I have school tomorrow, meeting for library. Ohhhh~

So some fanboying will get me high and happier. So, some pics of KARA!

*huge sigh before massive heart attack*

Sorry, getting extra high and mental. Soon, I'll break or something. So quickly. The pics are from the photobook for their latest album, KARA Revolution. But hey, I might get that, so please, Dong Chan, you must find this photobook. PLEASE! And I have absolutely no words to describe this. And I would probably fail doing that. Ahh~ Heart attack. Like serious warning system. Locking down. Ahhhhh~~~

Really feel like singing Shinee's Replay. "Noona neomu yeppeo~" [she's very pretty] Or something like that. *sustaining brain damage*

Before I lose sanity, ANNYEONG!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Overload

Quote of the Post

I would probably fail countlessly to describe your beauty. To describe your being.

Pain remorse

2009-09-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, just a quick one. Like in few minutes.

No time to fanboy. Just no time. Well, my birthday today, and we went out to eat. The Vines, great place. I just love their lobster. Its not that ex, just 18+ bucks for half a baked lobster, fish/chicken/whatever and some veg and potato. Woah. Tastes great too. Its at Novena, opposite the church.

And I didn't do much stuff today. But my pitching is improving and I can reach high notes. A little, especially when my nose and throat are clear. Singing songs like Suju's Reset, and Fight Off The Bad Feeling by T-Max. Not bad eh? But sound kinda hoarse and sometimes still break. But improving! Thats great.

Ok. I really want albums from KARA and SNSD and Suju etc. Really. Really Really WANT THEM. And I'm gonna get them from HMV. Yeah, sometime soon. Wheee. And I like the presents. Nice wallet Melvin. But why did you have to spend so much???? 20 pounds and what's with the extra 10 bucks? I feel bad about getting such an ex present.

But as a site note. I realised something. Sometimes, or most of the time, its really not the punishments that are pain, its the regret and guilt. That hurts the most, even more so when you not only let down yourself, but somehow, others that you care a lot about. Really, really painful. But don't let me nag and whine so much. It's my birthday. Hey. Thanks for all the wishes guys!

Ah, never mind, maybe some fanboying. KARA! Yay!

And I'm probably gonna get high by fanboying while listening to kpop, like Fight Off The Bad Feeling, which I'm doing right now. Or I might get a heart attack, or both. Most likely both. Heh heh. Wheee~

Crap, I'm really getting high. Got to go now.

Ahh, heart attack! *clutches heart*

And *sigh*

Annyeong!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Worthless willing

Quote of the Post

Most of the time, the punishments are nothing compared to the guilt and regret. Especially if you let others you care about down. That hurts much much more.

High Honey

2009-09-08T00:10:00.000-07:00

High

Fluttering, to my very,

Heart beat.

My mind empty,

I would to but to hope.

Your voice, the sound,

Serene and beautiful.

The breath you took away.

My heart you did too.

I felt it, the words,

Pierced through me.

Even as I walk,

Dream and sleep.

The many heartaches,

You caused.

And the smiles,

Just by your gaze.

And by your voice,

Your very gaze.

You ripped my heart

From my chest.

I didn't pull back,

Or hold back.

I let it go.

Gave it to you.

I won't cry,

No I didn't.

But couldn't sleep either,

Thinking about you.

The loss of my soul,

My heart soul.

Didn't bother me.

Just smiling.

I let go.

I didn't care.

And claim it,

I hope you did.

High, so free.

And didn't care much.

But the very voice.

And gaze.

I wouldn't open my eyes,

But couldn't even sleep.

Dreamily, airily,

Happy.

The loss of reality,

A solace gained.

Just a thought,

Smile.

Relentless,

Every single word,

Gaze and thought,

Would jab me uncontrollably.

Letting go was too easy,

Smiling as well.

Not down, never but

High.

That I felt.

That I thought.

That I knew.

So lovely.

Honey, don't ever,

Release your grasp

From my being.

My all.

Just hold my heart soul,

Tight, firm.

Strangle me for all I care,

Just don't let go.

Lest I fall.

From this height.

The high I feel.

The high I am.

And I would tumble,

Plummet to the

Cold hard ground.

Of truth.

This high,

Should I fall,

I would die.

Surely.

Honey, might as well,

Just suffocate me.

And claim this life

As your own.

Just as well,

Go ahead.

For I am at dead ends.

But I would keep running on,

On this path.

High above the ground.

Away from reality's reach,

Held by you.

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

Not bad? Was a quick one. Inspired by Kara's Honey. It's almost impossible not to get high just by listening to the song. It's on the music player by the way. Naui mame honey honey honey~

Woah. Slow down man. Oh yah, can't stop. Honey, honey~ Wheets.

And I gotta start posting these poems on facebook or no one would read them... Yeah.

Annyeong!

Funny how that happens sometimes

2009-09-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, extremely. It's funny how some things happen sometimes. Too true. I'm refering to many things here. But its up to you to figure that out. Woah.

Great day today. Spamming the Xbox 360, since it was my birthday. Jon, Wei Yang, Samuel, Scott and Melvin turned up. Was great. Playing Halo and random stuff like rockets, oddball, and whatever. And we went bowling and I got 110. Heh. And some billard, and I was pissing people off by listening to Kpop. Ha, lol. And basically, it was loads of fun. And people got along well together, and I was just worrying about that too much. Yeah, I know I worry to much. Anyways, thanks for the presents!

And cause I am running out of time, I shall do some fanboying and suaning? Maybe. Let's see. Ummm, I may be going to HMV tomorrow to pick up some Kpop albums, and some other stuff. At citylink. In city hall. Anyone interested to tag along? I mean, there are more than just Kpop albums there. Hey, please?

So fanboying time.

SNSD

And KARA!!!

Woah. Here we go again. Kinda high, and speaking of which.

My new poem just finished last night is called high. Was a quick spam, but turned out fine. Inspired by Kara's Honey. It's hard not to be high after listening to that song. Heh.

And when I'm inspired by a certain song to write a poem, I'll just listen to it throughout. Until I'm done with the poem.

Speaking of which, I was listening to Kara's 2 songs, Honey and Wanna, throughout the whole 1 hour of bowling today, to much disapproval. But what do you know? I scored extremely well today. Though it was 1 strike [the first shot was a strike] and a few well placed spares.

Then again, about the disapproval part, at least Melvin listens to SNSD, but why do so many of my friends not like Korean boy bands??? Why? Ah well, though luck. I [Wanna] listen to more Kpop songs [Again and again and again and again~]. Lol. [Sorry sorry sorry sorry~]

Man I'm a bit too crazy and high today. *sigh* KARA and SNSD HWAITING! Yes!

Annyeong!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Kpop frenzy [yeah]

Quote of the Post

The most cruel thing that you did was taking my heart away from me. You don't even know me, or the many other thousands of hearts you took. But I really don't care, my heart is yours.

P.S. Ha! Chen Wei, just wanted to suan. Learned the first part of Haru Haru by Big Bang in 7 minutes. The rap lyrics. Whee. A bit messy and rushed but remembered. Heh. Then again, I tried a few times, so I got an advantage. But still. Heh. 7 not 60.

Same and a heart attack

2009-09-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

To prove my earlier point, I will put up some pics. Again. Heh.

Nicole

Tiffany

*dies*

Now do you see what I mean. It's the same thing. They actually look like sisters. Same smile. So CUTE~ Unbearably. Natural aegyo. Huh. And I also want a Kara album as well. Wheee~ [on HIGH] whee~ whee~ whee~

And before I get an another heart attack, I will briefly tell you about the first one.

Went to support Melvin in the Minime fencing competitions today. And well done!!! Gold. Huh. The first rounds, won all 5, with scores like 5-0, 5-0, 5-1, you get the point. Ownage. Then elimination round. 15-1, 15-2, 15-9, 15-2. Woah. Mostly owning, but then on the 3rd, lost points. I saw you running into the opponent's blade thrice. But it was tiring of course. Then the finals.

1-0. 2-0. 2-1. 2-2. 2-3. You get the point. Good lord. It went to 14-13. To Melvin, then 14-14. Screw, I was wincing, I couldn't help myself. Heart attack. Urgh. Then 15-14. NICE! Excellent work. So gold for you!

Then again, how am I supposed to get a heart attack, when my heart has been taken by someone else. Maybe some of the shattered pieces remain. Who knows? But just leave my heart where it is, or the pieces where they are. Heh. Hopefully, you won't find out too much from here, but since my friends are smart, I probably just screw myself.

But wait, I'm smart too. In some sense. So its not exactly obvious. I always like twisting things around. Like messing with reality. Hmmm. I like that. Ha! Tell me if you figured out.

Then again, some close friends might know, but seeing as they are close friends, please KEEP it a secret. Please. But *hint, for those who are unaware, you can find much traces on my blog, poems, and quotes. Etc. But why am I revealing this? WTH am I doing????

Before I start leaking out stuff, let's change topics. But then there's not much.

Except for me playing the guitar, and fanboying. And K-pop. Linked. Ya. Please get me a KARA album. And a Suju album. And a SNSD album. And whatever. Priss? I beg of you. PLEASE!

And turning back to fanboying. Clutches heart, before practically losing my mind. Looking at Kara and SNSD videos and pics. There goes my soul. Whee! Away. *sigh*

That's why I like boy groups too. To 1) keep the balance, or I'll go seriously mad. 2) their songs are great too. 3) only have 2 girl groups I'm like really crazy over [Kara and SNSD] so I have loads of boy bands, cause I quite lenient on boy groups. 4) I'm a freaking male. WTH do you want me to do??? Conclusion: I'm quite lenient on boy groups, and like their songs as well, thus I like boy groups and have a lot of their songs compared to girl groups on my music list. End of story.

Still high. And before a heart attack. Looking forwards to monday. Heh.

Heart starts acting up again. *sigh*

Annyeong!

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

High

Quote of the Post

What do I do with myself? My heart's yours. My soul's yours. My life's yours. My whole being is yours.

Lasting

2009-09-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Many times split. And shattered, to that many pieces, of mine.

Today was great, kinda, we had no lessons, random house day. Nice. So then the event said floorball and I decided it would be a waste of time, and it turned out to be hockey. Crap, I wanted so much to play hockey. Quite sad. And ther was table tennis, and softball. We scraped a 2nd for hockey, just missed 1st, whereas moor house only got 3rd last year. I played last year and it was great.

After some crap, we went to the gym to play table tennis again. Was so fun, and I'm improving a lot, can add spin with more ease now. Heh.

And I got my new acoustic guitar today!!! It was a present, $240. Nice. Here's a pic.

Nice. So now I'm spamming songs, but K-pop songs are so hard to play. Really, I'm not exactly that good.

But trying.

Sad, really that so many people can't turn up...on the 7th.

And here I am, addicted to Kara as well. If you wanna know, here's a pic.

*bangs head repeatedly*

Yes, I know. Their songs are great too. Have a listen.

I have to go sleep soon anyways. So before I go. Again and Again sung by Kara.

Woah. Nice.

And can someone get me a *SNSD album, a *Suju album, *SS501 album [I think someone has done that], A'ST1? Big Bang? 2PM album, DBSK? albums. And *Kara too. Please, one of these, but the one with the stars are ESSENTIAL.

Please and thank you. XD

And fanboying again, looking at SNSD and Kara stuff. *Clutches heart and runs straight into the wall*

And more videos and pics, *dies*

Last note before I go: Jung Nicole smile is extremely similar to Tiffany's eye-smile. Both of their eyes are synco with their smiles. Rare case I think. But lovely. And cute. Unbearably. I like. Heh.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

In pieces

Quote of the Post

My heart has been shattered to many pieces, one for each person that took it away.

Close, and a closed door

2009-09-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hey, let's start off with a mash-up I found. By korean girl groups. 10 songs, but have a listen first.

Not bad eh? First korean mash-up I've heard, I'll admit, but ya.

Songs inside are:

2NE1 - FIRE

2NE1 - I Don't Care

4Minute - Hot Issue

After School -Amoled (feat. Son Dambi)

Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra

Jewelry - Vari2ty

Kara - Mister

Kara - Wanna

SNSD - Genie (Tell Me Your Wish)

T-ara - Lies

Yes. That should be all.

And now officially, my 2nd favourite girl group is KARA!!! Yay! Seeing as I have only been fanboying about SNSD, which is my top, and everything. Woah. SNSD used to be the only girl group I actually liked and listened to. Or something. But Kara's good too.

And tomorrow is games day. I reprimand myself on why I didn't join floorball?!!?! Ahhh! Never mind then, I'll just try my luck and see if they need any reserves or something, last minute things always happen. Or something. Last day of school....*chants*

And for once I think I can follow Bio, genetic stuff- cloning, from the start. Somewhat, but better than the what-in-the-holy-crap-is-this-screw-up-crap-which-I-don't-freaking-understand-so-someone-help-my-sorry-ass kind of situation. So there you go.

Close, so close. And a closed door. My posts' titles are getting more screwed, but they have a meaning. Or something.

As for today, went to gym and Table Tennis again. Was great, and fun. And I'm IMPROVING, loads. Sweet. The last time since this year I played was in Pri 2? And I couldn't serve. And now I can put spin. Woah, some skills here.

Now, as we get closer to other matters, I think we are getting closer to unlocking that closed door. And see what we find. Ah well.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Closer

Quote of the Post

I want yours, but I can't reach. I won't give up, but I just can't seem to touch it.

Far cry

2009-09-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

Pissing. I really piss myself off. And just so frustrating, and painful, and freaking pissing. That's what I am. I must do something, before this starts to consume my very being or something, and rip out this heart of mine. Or the pathetic remains of my heart for that matter. This is so infuriating etc. I can't believe this. AHHHHH!!!

Okay, enough of this. I've had enough. I shall talk about other matters instead. And so we go.

Got back my math CCT, could have been worse, but could have been much much better. 21/30. I wanted a 4.0 but my math is really screwing up the whole year. Like really badly. And then we had other stuff, we're gonna get back our Bio CCT tomorrow or next term. History is next term. Hoping for good marks.

Tired, and pissed. But waiting for next week. Ya.

I don't have much left to say. I'm pathetic. But for some things that caused me to be so pathetic. I don't care. I don't wanna change anything, but there's always something that I want to change. Ah, never mind.

Annyeong...

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Pained

Quote of the Post

Rip it out, take it out, I don't care for it anymore, as long as it remains yours.

2 days and a life

2009-09-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Huh. 2 more days of school, long day ahead tomorrow, and NPCC, but we're going to CIP, so that changes things. Kinda. Hear, hear. And these 2 days involves, getting back some tests and other crap. Let's see.

We are getting back our math CCT, so we're practically screwed. Yes, that would be some kind of extra ownage. And we have History CCT which was the first CCT, but we still haven't got it back yet. Ahh, that would be a mite bit scary. Yes it would. But owing to the good fact that I don't exactly have to stay back on thursday, and Friday is some games day. Sweet.

So for the last count, good luck to me and all. And homework. Lovely. And dead.

I bet I still found time to screw around and poems. Furthermore, I got time to go sing korean songs, and mark my words, even with the lyrics, its nowhere near easily. Just rapping G-dragon's part or even 2pm, eg. Chansung or Taecyeon is hard. Really. Pronunciation and speed and memory, and I was never much of a rapper.

While, on the other hand, I'm busy watching Super Adonis camp, where Suju goes on a "holiday". And with the money they have $30+, miserable, they got to survive in the country with the food supplies they bought. With $30+ for 6 days. Huh. [FYI, the show is not a survival show but for the 6 suju members to kinda have fun and learn] And yes, only 6 went. Leetuk, Kangin, Sungmin [in 1 group, Sungmin's leader] and Shindong's group, himself, Eunhyuk and Donghae. It's very nice to watch. P.S it was taken some time ago, I think 2 or 3 years ago? Was Kyuhyun even in yet?

Anyways, they resorted to stealing. Its all over in this episode. Just watch.

Just watch the front and end, and the start of the next ep. Its crazy.

But funny.

With a note of impatience and disappointment to self: Why the hell can't you do something??? I'm seriously letting myself and them down. What is the problem with me?? 'Kay, I'm quite pissed with myself. For many reasons, but you don't really have to know. I'm a failure, quite so.

Haiz, *big sigh* I must do something. Really. Whatever. I need a life. But I just can't let go, or change it. I don't even wanna think about that.

2 days and a life. That's what I need to get over, and get, so easy compared to the latter, the latter being virtually impossible. I'm suffocating myself. Nothing more than a puppet. Ahhh.

Annyeong. Then...

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Suffocating

Quote of the Post

And this won't change. It's impossible, for me. Never.

Meeting up

2009-08-31T04:54:00.000-07:00

Annyeonghaseyo! Recently been spam posting. Really, just wished that more people visited my blog, eh?

Went back to primary school today. Wow. Great time. Met up with Nicholas, Jonathan, Matthew and Daniel. Saw Ian, John and others too. And we went to the canteen, Jon did his thing, stole the ball and RAN. Massive primary 2 swarm. And they started to beat him, and insult him and crazy spam. Retards, I tell you. Crazy gay shit. I swear, the primary school generation has been becoming more brave and fierce, like they are PMS-ing. Huh. You tell me.

And other random crap was discussed. Just plain randoming, I guess. Got my present yet guys? Get me K-Pop CDs please! I beg you. Something like super junior, SNSD, ss501, maybe Big bang, DBSK? Or probably some Kara or something. Hell, I don't know. Just kidding. You don't have to get me anything, but please look at the above list. Or something. Heh.

And here's a very nice and CUTE picture I got off a fan site. Heh. I think I linked it. But anyways.

Wow. SO CUTE!!!! Okay, that was extra, but yeah.

And sorry, view is not good cause my blog writing space is freaking cramped... Just click on it for the full size picture.

Love the picture man. SNSD, wondergirls, Kara and 2ne1. Yeah. I know. Heehee.

And so we continue. I guess, except there isn't anything much.

Well then, ANNYEONG!!!!

Or, bye.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Smiling???? [oh heck, must be the pic]

Quote of the Post

The things we can do for what we want...

2009-08-31T03:29:00.000-07:00

Something of Mine, Yours [Lost But Never Gone]

Unsettled, it trembles,

Bouncing in my chest,

Unable to rest,

Beat.

Lunging, it lurches,

Inside, shaking,

The key to it unblocking,

Tremble.

And the count drags,

Forth without control,

The shell to unfold.

Open.

Irresistible, a match,

A key to a lock,

To counter this block.

A leap.

Willing, hoping,

For occurrence,

Happening, in instance.

Shiver.

Fitted slightly,

Perfect? A match?

A treasure to fetch.

Turn.

Outcome awaiting,

The pained anticipating,

The chest worth trying.

Click.

No doubt a truth,

That you found a key,

To the lock opening me.

Unlock.

Torn open,

Uncovered, laid bare,

Reached in with care.

Seek.

Find, emptiness filled,

To what, discover,

Lost, reason to uncover.

Hollow.

Cavity, gaps.

Opened to a bare hole.

What's to make me whole?

Missing.

Gasp, but unpained.

Looked deeply back,

To tell you a fact.

Here.

Around, not lost.

Unfound, yet,

I smile back.

Wink.

Reaching, to you,

Holding tight, caress,

Your hand on my chest.

Still.

Silence, grasping you.

Prying the other hand.

Possess it you can.

Mine.

Lying there, the soul,

My life, reality, shining,

Yours for the taking.

There.

Always sitting there,

On your palm resting,

The thing I'm missing.

Glowing.

Broken by you,

Yet made whole.

This polished, cracked gold.

Glimmer.

I lost it.

Still it shone,

You claimed it as your own.

My heart.

It was never here,

But never gone.

Formed a bond.

For you, its yours.

As it shall be

Till it stops beating.

No, leave it there,

Safe-kept by you,

Scars never healed,

But from the start claimed.

I don't want it back.

Yours for the keeping.

My soul is yours,

As it was,

From start to end.

Rightfully yours, forever, I intend...

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

And there it is. The poem I missed out. Wow. 'Kay, recently been spamming poems. Good for me. KK. See ya'. Annyeong.

2009-08-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Been slacking off. A lot.

Just eagerly anticipating the 7th, since some of you guys are coming. Hey. I can't wait. And then there's the getting back of Math CCTs... and probably History. Wow. Mixed feelings about that.

Anyone going back to SJIJ tomorrow? Want to know. See whether I can meet up with you guys tomorrow. Jon, can you quickly confirm. Anyways, I have no school tomorrow. Joy. But must start on Sci project and homework.

I seem to have missed out on a poem just after Distant Stars and before Shattered Cold Front. Ahhh. My bad. Will fix that. Now I will do my utmost to write a poem every 2-3 days? Huh, will try.

So sorry to those who can't make it on the 7th, but thats the best date... Ahhhh.

And I went to a buffet today, cuz relatives, my Aunt and cousins came. Bleh. Why in the world did I drink so much coffee????? Argh. In the first place, I never liked coffee. Too bitter and strong for my liking. Just getting myself to learn how to drink it, but I put so much sugar and milk. Bleh. Ah well.

I didn't want to go to the buffet, since I'm like working out and all. And my dad just bought Protein supplements from GNC. Chocolate and strawberry flavour. Wasn't cheap though. But not complaining.

And will be off to write another poem now. Taking a leaf out of Melvin's book, or poems to be exact.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Waiting.

Quote of the Post

Tied down by these strings doesn't matter. You can control me, manipulate me. You can encase my heart, my soul in your strings. It doesn't matter. Keep it that way. I'm your puppet forever.

A Puppet

2009-08-30T05:07:00.000-07:00

Puppet-Heart Strings

Tightening, these strings,

Holding me down.

Encasing me, restricting,

Movements controlled.

I shift, stumble, move,

As the strings go.

Pulling, dragging,

My heart, my soul.

With each sudden lurch,

Every step.

Do I follow,

Steadily, clock-work.

Your looks, do they pull,

Drag out my heart.

Your words, cast

A strangle-hold on me.

Slow, fast, I follow,

Jerk forth, run.

Or sit down,

I move as these strings.

These strings,

Tight yet not thick.

Wound around me,

All over, but unseen.

Enclosed, held back,

Restricting, claustrophobic.

Easily trusting your words,

Manipulated without resistance.

Worry, fear,

Of these strings.

That restrain me.

That control me.

Yet even more,

Terrified, afraid,

Of them being cut,

The strings from severing.

For the heart strings,

Enclosing my very soul,

Keeps me bound, connected,

To yours, to you.

Blurred, at the edges,

My sight, soul.

My senses sharpened,

By your smile.

Unknowingly,

You move me along.

The reason for my every,

Step and move.

The tightening strings,

They suffocate me.

Squeezing the life out of me,

Killing me.

But I would never want

These strings that

Manipulate me, control me so,

Gone.

For willingly, I am

But your puppet.

Controlled by these

Heart strings, to my soul.

Entwined with my life,

Severing these strings,

Would be nothing but

Cutting off my lifeline.

Strangling me, I would take,

But I would never live,

Without your strings,

Too empty and painful.

I would have you,

Have this bond.

Maintain the taut strands.

Retain the strings of my soul.

Have you control me.

Manipulate my very being.

And hold me ever so tight,

In this eternal grip.

Know this, you may not,

The strings I crafted.

And tied them to me,

And you, you know not.

I am nothing, but

For the worth of

These strings.

My life through this bond,

And soul within.

Through these heart strings.

Tugging my soul, my being.

Only you hold these strings,

For you are my life.

And I am your puppet.

Through these strings,

Forever.

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

And there it is. My latest poem. In some way, it was inspired by neorago's dance moves. Or something like that. Yeah. And it is one of my first non-rhyme poems, cause it was hard to do. Secondly, also because the poem is partly about being restrained, and the poem's format is the opposite, seeing as there is no restraints in the rhyme, something which limits the words. Huh, well done me.

And I seem to have missed out one of my poems before Shattered Cold Front. Oops. Will post that next.

See ya.

Soon

2009-08-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

Annyeong! Been quite fine, and seeing that we have day off until wednesday.... heh heh. And my birthday is on 8th. But don't know whether to change to 7th cause some people can't make it. How about Saturday? Ah, screw this. I gotta find some right day. Gahhh.

And anyways, I so glad people in class are starting to like k-pop, or SNSD at least. Better than I had hoped. Yes.

And now just waiting. And more k-pop group crap watching on youtube since I finished watching BOF. But ya, BOF was great, so there. Need to find another nice korean drama with people I know or something... Yes.

Moreover, still watching in amazement at SNSD, Suju, SS501, etc. dances. Woah. Skillz, awesome synco and smooth moves. Practicing Eunhyuk's puppet move and Ryeowook's chorus perf in Neorago. Yeah.

Now just gonna write another poem, inspired by some of Neorago's dance moves, i.e. puppet dance.

So that's kinda all, nothing much, but still aching up from friday workout though, 2 hours in the gym. And Yaim, how was the movie?

See you guys then. Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Quote of the Post

And this heart of mine constantly wanders, hoping to be sought for, but most importantly, to hold unwavering for you. Move for you. Beat for you. Live for you.

Shattered Cold Front

2009-08-29T03:42:00.000-07:00

Shattered Cold Front

The ice filled field,

Frozen water lake.

I freeze the growth,

The life I fake.

I created the white,

Blizzard and all.

Rained down without warmth,

Like the season after Fall.

The Sun so rarely there,

Blocked by the ice cold.

Weathered clouds. So heavy,

With the wind-blown snow.

Falling, shading the little,

Tiny bits of life.

Withered upon my call,

Once it thrived.

Now so dead.

And barren, empty.

Lost, and forsaken,

Weighed down, so heavy.

I keep from, refrain,

The slight warm breeze.

Freeze it cold,

The weather won't cease.

It does rain,

But it never reaches the ground.

I cool it, frozen,

And white flakes I found.

The sky never dark,

But there's no sun.

I froze that too,

Take the warmth I can't.

Everything from this point,

Is hardened.

Cold solid, fragile,

The objects all frozen.

The river doesn't run,

The water doesn't flow.

The air rarely changes,

It's just plain cold.

Layer upon layer,

I freeze this world.

Nothing really exists.

Covered by that white swirl.

To keep out from seeing,

The different colours.

To numb myself from feeling,

The different flavours.

I just turned it barren.

Beautiful it be,

But so cold and alone,

And just so empty.

This cold front,

Of my making.

Just to keep out the pain,

To keep me from waking.

As I shivered,

I saw a light.

A warmth.

A breeze ever so slight.

The little warmth,

The relished, hoped for,

Yet what I rejected,

That I saw.

You threw that blaze,

That heat up the cold,

The freezing snow,

My frost bitten soul.

You shattered layer after layer,

And melted the water so hard.

Unfroze the sun,

Thawed out my cold heart.

Warmed it,

And gave me feeling.

Past the defenses,

The Ice I've been setting.

The ice cold front,

So hard, cold,

The shards so many,

The flaking snow.

All lost from my grasp.

The weather no longer,

Mine to control.

The nights grew shorter.

The withered trees,

So few, little.

Alive, green,

No longer brittle.

No, I couldn't resist.

Like a blazing flame,

Incinerating the numbness,

Self doubt and blame.

The fire surged through,

Not destroying but,

Giving life.

It still hurt.

I don't care.

Couldn't take it,

But even harder to stop,

And flamed on it did.

The blazing soul of yours,

Reached in, I gasped.

The hand on my chest.

The heart you grasped.

No longer, the cold demeanor,

The ice cold glare.

The frosty touch.

The piercing stare.

I helped you shatter,

The frozen heart.

The many pieces,

Frost bitten shards.

And irresistible the touch.

Withstood the pain.

I let you,

Piece it back again.

And don't ever let go,

Of this flaming grip.

After warming my soul,

The warmth I keep.

Hold it there,

Blazing forever.

In my heart.

And the no longer

Frozen, cold-hearted

Soul.

So I don't ever freeze,

And shatter again.

Don't let this cold,

Emptiness seep into my soul.

And surge with warmth,

So don't let go.

Never.

It's too cold and empty.

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

So there. I know it's long but I really write long poems. Yes, I know. Anyways, got inspiration from many things, one being Love in the Ice by DBSK. By the name you can tell. Huh. Will continue writing poems, in fact, I intend to write another now.... See ya...

Smooth

2009-08-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Ahh, things have been quite fine. So let me start with a quick question, who can make it to my birthday? If you're invited of course. I will send u an sms. Quick reply soon. Really.

So my results been fine. 35/50 for chinese. Yes. Sweet.

And today we had teachers day celebration. Random fun crap. Whee. All the way.

Then I went with Melvin, Yaim and Dion to the gym. Workout gym. And spent 2 hours working out there. Of course I got suaned. Yes I know. Ah... Now I have some slight aches, but was a good workout I guess.

And I can't wait for my birthday. Some one get me some CDs of either SS501, Super Junior, SNSD, or something along those lines. You can go see what groups I like. And then there's the guitar. Which I'm looking forward to. And someone please bring 2 more controllers. Yes, and any nice Xbox360 games you have. Please.

I am so pleased. From a total of about 2 people (me and Dong Chan), my class has about 8 SNSD fans. Or at least know and like them in some way. I won't claim credit for this but yes, I'm pleased. Hey, I know most of you guys like them for visual appeal, but there's their singing which owns Wonder Girls anytime. Yes. And they are more chio... whatever.

Huh. And try to listen to other groups lah. Suju, SS501, Big Bang and others. Their songs are so nice. Hey. And I'm gonna check up on T-max or something. Some of their songs are nice. Really.

I'm still like freaking amazed by the fact that so many korean groups can dance so well, despite their numbers. 3, 5, 7, 9, and like what, 13??? Suju. Imba dancing moves, and the amazing way they can be synchronized. Go watch their music videos. Some smooth moves are like Neorago and Sorry Sorry. Own. Of course even like 9 people [SNSD] it's like freaking hard. 13... And have you seen 2pm's b-boy moves. Pwnage.

Here's Neorago's Dance Version

And here's Sorry Sorry dance version

And I'll shall scoot off now. Keep tagging. And as an end-off note: K-pop FTW!!!!

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Quote of the Post

I'm tied down by these many strings. I move with each wave of your hands, a puppet. But don't ever sever these strings, the connection between you and me...

Listed

2009-08-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

So let's start by writing the happenings, as we all do. Huh. Let's see. Tests almost over! Just did chinese ying yong wen and philo. But both were generally ok, so no problem with that. Worried though. Tomorrow is Bio CCT and the topics are hard. Must try and get a 3.6 then I'm content. Not gonna be that easy though. I know.

Kinda relieved though, cause I got back some tests. Chinese CCT, but my teacher just let slip. So the others not yet, but 35/50. Sweet. Really though, other than that. Geog CCT. Just got back. Though I would have thought that I seriously screwed up, especially one of the questions. 6 marks leh. But surprise surprise, I got 25 1/2 out of 30. Nice. So I'm retaining my 4.0 then. Phew.

Birthday coming. If you see your name, you're coming. 8th Sep. Heys, I got limited seating. Jkjk. Okay, let's see. From SJI, eh, Jonathan, Wei Yang, Marcus Ng, Daniel Leow, Scott, Leonard. Samuel too, but he's in St Pats, rite? Melvin, you're coming too. Dong Chan should be as well. But please take note, no violence or discrimination should occur else I will slaughter you. On a happier note, come and enjoy yourself. I just don't want a rerun of romeo and juliet.

As promised, here listed are some of my favourtie songs. In no particular order of course. Cause they are so many, here are just a few. And they're probably in the music player.

1) Neorago [It's You] by Super Junior

Ah ah, only for you, ah ah only for you, ah ah only for you, Neorago.

This is probably my favourite k-pop song. I can listen to for hours. And its the only korean song who's lyrics I remember totally. Great tune and lyrics. Even the dance moves are nice [see the mv in the music player. 1st song] The puppet moves [especially Eunhyuk's] = Skillz. Neorago.

2) Love in the Ice by DBSK

Geu saram naega dwil su itdamyon dashi hanbeon gudeobeorin gudae mameul Yeongwonui ttaseuhameuro kamsa aneulgeoya Ah ah ah ah ah~

Long song but nevertheless, a beautiful song. The tune is very soothing but in some sense emo-ish. Hey, the song is encapsulated by the word "beautiful". On a side note, I got inspiration for my latest poem from this song as well as others, but it was mainly this song. Hah Hah, Hah ah ah...

3) Again and Again by 2PM

Again and again and again and again~Nuh ehgeh jaggoo dolaga weh geulunji molla weh geulunji molla

Catchy tune. Nice rhythm. That kind of song. Wow, and 2pm's dance moves/b-boy is ownage. Nice. Again and again...

4) Haru Haru by Big Bang

Haru haru Mudyeojyeogane~ Oh girl, I cry cry You're my all (say goodbye)

The rap, the music is great. Emo song but very nice. Pace is great. Like this song even though most Big Bang songs are a bit RnB. Heard G-dragon rap? Wow. Tune and melody is great too. Haru haru...

5) Hate You Love You by Super Junior

Dahl lah jeen guh seun uhp suh hohn jah een guhl Ddoh dah reun sarang ee ohl guh rah goh (guh rah goh)

Soothing tune, beautiful melody, and it just never fails to amaze me by the fact that 13 guys are so synco, so organized and the music they produce. *claps* Lovely. And meaningful. Nah mah ee ssuh~

6) Because I'm Stupid by SS501

Honja dasi tto Crying for you Honja dasi tto Missing for you Baby! I love you! I'm waiting for you!

Go watch BOF. The shows real nice. And so are SS501 songs. Here are one of my favourites. Another song with great tune, melody and lyrics. No doubts. I'm waiting for you~

So here are some of my favourites. No, there are many more. Many many more. Here are just some of them. Maybe another time I will add more. Next post? Oh, don't scream at me for not having SNSD songs. It's just that I'm out of time. Seriously speaking, SNSD songs are most listened to on my ipod, though I got their songs before finding out about the rest. So not my fault.

And ending off now. Gotta go sleep. So tired, and cramps. Uh huh. I know. Look. Busy. Poem next post? Bleh.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Only for you

Quote of the Post

Reality is painful. We all enter our own reality as solace, the self-delusions all false comfort. So painless...

Unrelated

2009-08-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah, time for stuff unrelated to school. Heh.

If you would notice the new skin. It's nice right? Give me some comments, I did this not from scratch but almost there. Argh. Photoshoping was fine but inner html was a nightmare. Took me so damn long. That's why I haven't been posting, the other reason being tests and exams. Yeah. But just finished it.

Point 2, could you tag so I know if there are anyone who actually visits my blog. So sad, my tagboard. Added a player. With some of my favourite songs. K-pop. Yeah, have a listen.

Sweet success. I have somewhat converted Melvin, cause he was so unsupportive of K-pop. But he listens to some SNSD songs. WOW. That's great. But Melvin, go listen to my other songs. Cause there are a lot of nice songs. Yeah, you know what I mean.

Need time for poems and other crap. And should start mugging for EOYs. Ya, I know.

A few more days... or week... It's my birthday!!! 8th September. Yeah. I guess I'm gonna get a few guys from RI and SJI to come together. Who, I still haven't totally finalised yet, cause I need to check with the SJI guys. Huh, I know. I'm just slightly worried. Please, let this not be a rerun of Romeo and Juliet. Sji dudes, please don't start anything. Please. Or it will be Capulet against Montague. Ah, the bloodshed. Figuratively speaking. And we are gonna spam Xbox 360 I guess. Got any good games, bring 'em along.

And presents. Heh heh. Need ideas, just skim through my blog, you're bound to figure out. For most part you can just infer, like straight of my blogskin. Crap, now I'm making it so damn obvious. Okay, get the hint.

Just kidding. If you don't buy a present, its fine. Just come and have fun. But if you do, then XD.

And getting a guitar for my birthday! Yeah, now I can strum random k-pop tunes. And other tunes. Like english and chinese and maybe jap. But k-pop takes more importance. Heh.

And I'm almost finish watching BOF. Lol you say. Its actually quite a good show. Drama with interesting, unique storyline, and great characters? I like.

Will post my poem that I finished 2 weeks ago up as well. Probably soon. It's the longest so far, 33 stanzas. Cow, its gonna take forever to type it in my blog. But hey, what am I to do.

Details escape me at the moment, but we're in for some crap for the next few months, due to many a reason. I will try to put down a list of my favourite k-pop songs next posts or so. Yeah, that's kinda all. Will add details next. Must sleep.

Annyeonghaseyeo.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

A far shot

Quote of the Post

Confused, the blur around the edges of my soul, my sight, grow clearer, the moment I thought of you. My sharpened soul, sees you the clearest.

P.S Don't ask me why my poems and quotes constantly revolve around love. Heh. You should know better than to ask a man that question. Geez. I'm out.

A while

2009-08-25T09:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, it has been a while, almost a month since I posted anything cuz, i was busy. Yes, standard excuse, I know. Huh, its true. CCTs spamming up my whole time. Like in the past 3 weeks, chinese, history, geog, math, then this week, some english, chinese ying yong wen, bio, and some philo. Argh. Was sick for 1 week, week 6. Managed to go to school on monday, then mc whole week. Had to take geog retest. Chinese was a relief. Though paper was hard. I found out that I got 35/50. Nice. Teacher let slip, heh heh. Best ever chinese CCT. History was spam. Cow. Math had retest cuz we had Ubin camp over the weekend. Was quite screwed so won't bother to elaborate. Ya. But s a bit fun. Managed to change my poncho 3 times. Heh. Rule: Lose ur poncho, and if you find another one unclaimed, its yours. Ha.

Yes math was retarded. Hard. But almost everyone said so. I just had MSP CCT, its a total fail. So now mugging for bio. Terms are so cheem. Ahhhh. Dead, dead.

Npcc again tomorrow, wow. Sec 3 NCOs quite fun, but not that slack. PT was a bit painful. 5 BMX was damn tiring. 30 star jumps, 25 ranger, owed them 100+ pushups, etc. Hah. Wish there was CIP tomorrow. Is there? When are sec 4s coming back? Less tiring I guess. [If you're reading this Chen Wei, yes its true]

More about school then. How many people actually understand bio lessons? Not many. But now I get the main concept. Thanks Sikit. You're a lifesaver. You understand bio very well compared to others. The main lot if I may add...

Final stretch. 1 more week of tests and spamming. Yes then holidays. Some slack at least. But kinda feel sorry for the sec 4s, O levels HMT? Heh.

So some spam about school. Drama Challenge? Finally exerting and contributing as a scriptwriter. Cuz was so busy. Yeah. "Change is here?"

OC day after tomorrow, owned.

And hoping to improve GPA. Yeah. 3.72 drop to 3.54. Ahhh. Need a 3.6 then I'm satisfied.

Talked a lot about school. Next post is unrelated to school post? I'll try. Cuz its been a while. Man this is getting cliched. Bleh.

Going to write next post now.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Trying to do I can

Quote of the Post

"Is sorry all? Then why are there laws and police?" ~BBF [I know, I watch ok?]

Still

2009-07-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

So, 'sup. I personally know my the clock has started countdown. For many things, it's always been counting down. Now, my survival is once again put on the line. For the upcoming CCTs. Geo and His week 6 [next week]. Chinese week 7. And I got a ATC camp on the weekend just before week 8, math CCT. I'm screwed. And EOYs coming up liao. Another countdown. Urgh, dead, dead, dead... Gone case man, seriously.

And we still got MOV random acting thingy, the name is just not in my grasp at the moment= I just forgot -.-lll. Yeah. And I'm the scriptwriter. Yikes.

And still writing poems. Ha!

And still WANTING A GUITAR.

And still getting owned. O..kay...

And still must mug...

And, of course, still FANBOYING. Sorry lah...

And probably still improving on some stuff... Yeah.

AH!!! No guitar and no more guitar lessons for music. Sianz. I like guitar. And I still want more k-pop albums. Yikes. For everything.

There's OC tomorrow, so screw that.

And I just got the hang of playing table tennis. I managed to rally and backhand and a few smashes. Nice. The last time I touched a paddle was 5 years ago, and I couldn't serve for nuts. Now, I can rally, its fun. And Jeremy is imba. Well done. To me too, for improving like heck knows in 2 hours. Something like that.

When I finally get a guitar, I'll despo and find chords for SNSD songs, and probably other k-pop. Who asked Ultimate guitar to not have k-pop tabs. Crap.

And, I'm still working on my SNSD blogskin. Yeah, will upload it onto my blog if I manage to finish it soon. And don't crap to me about this. Yes, don't. No complaining, no suaning, no teasing? Ya, something like that, along the lines lah. I also noticed that many people have pictures of idols of celebrities as their wallpapers. Like Benedict, Stanley, Melvin XD. And me. Its quite obvious for me, ain't it?

Yes, I want to get a good hairstyle, like Hyun Joong's ???? WTF??? I mean its nice...

Listening to Deja Vu by SS501. After that, will change to SNSD again soon. Need their albums...Anyone know WHERE I CAN FRIGGIN' GET 'EM??? K, thanks...

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Freaking out...

Quote of the Post

Once your heart has been taken away by that someone, you can't think of them in any other way. Instinctual protectiveness.

Hopes and dreams

2009-07-30T05:40:00.000-07:00

Here is a poem I just made, but its a bit abstract, so I'll explain it afterwards pretty quickly...

Distant Stars

Pressured, lost, pressing down on

My heavy burdened soul.

And waiting for this long,

It pains me.

Time has lost all

Meaning for me.

Hopeless, with each fall,

And every other beat, count.

Irritating, the slow ticking,

Of slow passing.

And every waking,

Into empty space I stare.

A day, then week,

To months, years,

Knowing not of what I seek,

And such is aimless.

That crescent moon alone,

Hanging like that, helpless.

The sad mourning tone,

Accompanied by the darkness.

Gazing blankly into naught,

But the distant stars.

And with each empty thought,

The once significant dreams.

So close it seemed,

To these blind eyes.

Pathetic, it was deemed,

To look upon distant.

Unreachable, the distance,

Barely reaching this clouded sight.

And for each flash, an instance,

Awed and amazed.

How brightly it flashes!

How foolish I was.

In the end to ashes,

They burn off, extinguished.

Distant, I still cared not,

Delusion my best friend.

And all I got,

Was just pain.

Self-inflicted, dark yet flaring,

Begun to devour pieces of me.

And yet uncaring,

I stepped into flames.

Hungry, the light devoured everything,

And into darkness, sinking.

Yet for these stars did I sing

Praises, to the ones destroying me.

Look at that one, it shines brilliantly!

And bright it was, illuminating.

And so very foolishly,

I continued star-gazing.

Oh, reach for it, I did,

And no difference did I make.

Except to inflame this need

For light, so distant, shining.

I did know,

Of my outcome, this fate.

But I chose not to show

That I understood this fact.

Deluded by distant,

The truth a reality all but dull rock,

Which I ignored in instant,

And look at the far light.

I knew the pain,

If I accepted the reality.

Disregard, for no gain,

But succeed in wounding myself.

It was the light, distant light,

The root of self pain.

Desire, dreams so bright,

In the many stars.

And did I shatter again,

This half-mended core.

Just building up more pain,

That I tried to ignore.

Flawed, broken,

Cracked the moon was.

Still hadn't spoken,

The nothings left to say.

Devoured by the light,

Withered by false hope.

The lone crescent moon,

Flashed without a cry.

And to the last count,

A sigh and a silent goodbye.

But burst into light it did,

Though gone beyond repair,

Left the remaining light,

So glaring bright.

Forever. The brilliance of his many

Distant stars...

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

So, its quite abstract you say. Yes, it is much more compared to my other poems. Yays. So, figured it out yet? No? Well, lets see. But before you read the below, this poem is undoubtably emo in some sense, but it has nothing to do with self mutilation. Heh, Melvin. Not that extreme, but more extreme in a different sense I guess...

So, the key word here is DREAMS. Ya, like your ambitions, hopes, and dreams. And it is likened to the stars, albeit being distant. Here is the other main point, the stars=dreams. Now dreams just like the stars are bright, illuminated in everyone's mind compared to other thoughts. Yes, but here it is distant and means that the dreams are too impossible, "too far away to reach". And like the poems, this obsession of the impossible leads to self delusion and the fact of wounding your own self. Sad but true. And in the end, the persona, a moon, is destroyed, but the remaining light is exceedingly bright. So, now, you can figure out the smaller details.

As for things like inspiration, and ideals [And probably the opinions and hidden thoughts], heh. I will not reveal. I guess the explanation is a great help already, so don't push it huh?

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Gazing upon the distant

Time is ticking

2009-07-27T08:07:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's happening. Now, I'm running out of time. Ahh, the truth is sad, in many MORE ways than one. Hah, won't care to elaborate, you should have figured out the countless subtle hints.

Eh. Need to mug for CCT, so why am still blogging? No answer.

And I WANT a guitar. Seriously, must get one. Come on, come on...

And hardly have the time to figure out tabs and strumming patterns and plucking at this rate. Help...

And SNSD hwaiting. Won't get tired of that.

So sorry about today's speed. And I feel so glad that Dong Chan is still acting fine. I don't know about how he really feels, I can only guess. He's very friendly and if I may add, he really is strong [personality wised]. Ya, hope I can help him in one way or another...

CCTS COMING! ARGH! CRAP...

And sorry about the caps, just really panicky-liked. Ya.

And to end off I shall repeat. SNSD HWAITING!

Done.

Annyeong.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Trying

Quote of the Post

So tiring it is, but I shall never falter though for without my heart, I have you in its place...

Confessions

2009-07-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

Here's the poem I promised you.

Confessions of a Fan

These eyes of mine see much,

Acts of great vibrance.

In real life its regarded as such,

Immense display of elegance.

These are merely yet mostly thoughts,

Of famous actors, authors,

From the many fans they have got,

Whether comedians or singers.

You, in this different world,

Of entertainment.

You give me a whole new life,

And energy so different.

It makes me feel alive,

Sometimes just hearing your voices,

Or watching you perform,

It may even change my choices.

You make me smile, cry, laugh as

I listen to your songs and music,

Read your books and watch your shows,

Again and again, it doesn't make me sick.

I, and many others support you,

Are addicted, and even idolize you,

And even worship you,

Part of our lives are already yours.

Countless people would spend much

Money on your many items.

And use much time to watch,

Your many acts, performances.

And now here I am,

Thinking of you everywhere I go,

Just this helps to get away from reality,

With every beat or show.

But ironic it is to escape reality,

To a place created by one's dreams.

And to prevent the truth to finally,

Shatter my half-mended heart again and again.

I watch, I hear, I see,

The many wonders you formed.

I feel this euphoria in me,

When into a different self, I transform.

My wishful thinking clouds this sense

Of truth and reality in me.

And for them to come true I yearn,

To reject this truth I see.

Further years apart we are,

Regardless who.

On this carriage of time apart.

I'm in a cabin further behind you.

And to this dream I sought after,

To realise it just to get close.

To grab the right snowflake in a blizzard,

And see it was the right one I chose.

I reach for this unanswered

Tireless wishful thinking much further.

How hard to approach with pen and paper,

Let alone to bare friendship to each other or better.

And here I mourn,

As I lose this fraction of life.

Given up to you I think,

And it hurts worse than knives.

Tenfold, it repeats, once more,

To see part of me fade away.

And I just can't stop myself

To keep from this another day.

And I'm just one of the many

Relentless supporters, fans.

How am I to stop?

I'm addicted to drugs and you're just my brand.

I hold on tight to this

Pathetic part of me.

I'm hooked, I can't let go,

I don't know what I would be.

Painful it is to know that,

I know you, yet you don't know me.

And watch my heart fade away

Until there's nothing left to see.

I lie, delude myself,

Until I know not of truth and lies,

And just dream a while,

Till it all dies.

Once more, I see your face, smile,

And tell myself its all a dream.

I smile unconsciously, move closer,

See your eyes, wink,

And then pause, break down,

Noticing the screen.

I'm just a fan, what more can I ask

... little...

Too much... I guess

Tears, a sad smile, wave silence

Then GoodBye...

*sigh*

By Your Guardian Angel

[Zhe Herng]

Heh. Not bad eh? I usually only post my really good ones. And if you can tell me who the persona is based on, the meaning, and what inspiration, you can tell. But it won't be easy. I don't reveal the secrets of my works so easily, much less my thoughts and feelings. You need more than a pair of pliers. Ha! Happy trying. And if you find out, good for you. And last note, I'm just who I am.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Unreavealed

But always dreaming...

Quote of the Post

And replayed, shattered once more, the aching, sharp jabs, my heart, the pain is unbearable, but since this is because of you and for you, I can do this as many times it hits me. As long as I'm here, for you...

upped

2009-07-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah, speeding up my stamina. Very content. I'm like on some kind of running spree. I used to have difficulty running 2.4km. But yesterday, I cleared 5.6km. Mad I tell you. Heh. And now, I cleared 7.2km. Retarded huh? And some random Indian guy was running next to me at 11kmh and before 1 lap he had to go to 5kmh. LOL. I was running 8.5kmh for 6 400m laps. Sweet. Now I know my stamina is really improving. Good. And so is my strength I guess. Can do 1 pull-up, moving on to 2. And probably losing weight. Heh. I think maybe I got some mental barrier and my heart was weaker, thats why I run quite slow. Now I kinda cleared most part of that and my limits have shot forwards. Well done myself!

My inspiration [for clearing this barrier], heh. Not saying, I guess. Tsk, tsk.

SNSD hwaiting! Will post more videos later. Late liao.

I just went to watch Liverpool play against Singapore, massive trashing. 5-1. Liverpool were randoming half the time. Won't elaborate. Heh. And I got VIP tickets, with my dad. Heh. DPM and president were sitting not far from me. Heh Heh. Suan suan...and food and refreshments. More like dinner [some small buffet]. Haha.

Must find time to write my poem! Ya!

And must listen to more K-pop! From a pathetic 0, I now have 63 korean songs. Yeah. Lets see, heres an example, listen to SS501, Super Junior, DBSK, Epik High, 2PM, Shinee and SNSD!!! Never forget SNSD. NEVER!

Ha. Quite done. Except that the fact that I really like korean male hairstyles, especially then long hair style. Must get that after graduating or something.

Here's a random korean artiste to watch-Nickhun. Heh. He was a total LOL at starking. zzz. He's from 2PM.

And done.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Thinking of you

Quote of the Post

Once you step into your dreams, its painful to come back to reality. You want to stay there forever.

P.S. Probably will change to SNSD blogskin soon. So don't drama, panic, extra or over-use those brain cells. Please DON'T over-react.

Running

2009-07-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Just came back from the gym not long ago... And I'm quite pleased. Yeah. 5.6km run. Heh. Longest distance, and I don't feel that tired. I'm on some project, to make myself fitter. And its going not bad...Heh.

Running is easier for me. And I guess I'm stronger. And don't suan. If you don't believe I can run 5.6km then never mind. Whatever you say. Of course, I've got inspiration. Heh. I won't say where. Yeah.

And for comparison, here is IU's version. Guitar for Gee [by SNSD].

Not bad eh? Anyways, I want more people to listen to SNSD.

For that matter-SNSD>>>*heart*>>>>rocks!!

Furthermore, I've started a liking to other K-Pop music artistes. Must listen to Super Junior, 2PM, SS501 and Shinee. Heh.

Watch random videos like reality and game shows with korean artistes in them. Its so fun. Really. Eg. see Nickhun on StarKing=Random funny crap....

Lol, its all very amusing.

Huh.

Me Wants A Guitar!

Waiting.

And

Hwaiting...

Uh-huh. Lets stop randoming. Its getting gay.

Now, publicity time!!!

SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD,SNSD....

AND

OTHER BANDS!!! eg. 2PM

HWAITING!!!!

'Kay. Done.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Moving forwards

Quote of the Post

This cold front I put up against others immediately withers at the mere thought of you...

P.S Heh, I've been writing a lot of quotes and maybe poems on love, eh? Heh Heh...

Get me one

2009-07-25T02:09:00.000-07:00

Heh. Get me a yamaha I said. Yes I want a guitar. Of course. Why? I want to play a guitar. Okay, I guess you knew that.

Its just that I've gotta wait till the END OF YEAR holidays. Thats what my dad said. Ah crap, he thinks I cannot concentrate with a guitar on my hands. Yeah, I know. I've got other things as well, but I won't exactly play the guitar when mugging or when I got projects and homework huh? No ideally. That's what I think. Won't it be better to de-stress with a guitar rather with a com? *sigh* I have nothing to say about that. I know he wants me to concentrate first then relax later. I understand that. But thats exactly why so many people get stressed and screwed. We need to relax. I don't even play com games. The last time I played DotA was 5 months ago. Or more....

Ah well. I'm looking for guitar tabs. Don't tell me to go to ultimate guitar. I'm looking for SNSD guitar tabs. I wanted to get Gee guitar tabs, especially IU's version. That one was great. But I couldn't find it after that and wanted to settle for the other versions. But I was so despo I resorted to deciphering some random guy's version which sounded a lot like IU's version [YES~]. He played it on youtube [how to play gee acoustic] and his explanation was fine for the chords. But he didn't say anything about the strumming pattern. I took 2 hours to decipher that. I had to keep replaying and I have no guitar. How am I supposed to know if its right? WTH? [What's more its not easy for a NOOB like me to play that, yes, I suck]

Here's the random guy's version-its quite good.

Oh well, for most part [and tons of guesswork] I got it. Heh. Can't wait to get a guitar to practise. Yeah.

So now I am spamming my RE. Spam...spam...spam.

Homework as well...spam....spam....spam....

And other stuff, which I may care to elaborate later I guess. Heh.

"maldo mothaet geol
neomu bukkeureoweo haneun nan

yongiga eopneun geolkka
eotteokhaeya joeun geolkka
dugeun dogeun mam jorimyeo barabogo itneun nan (ya~)"

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Transfixed

Quote of the Post

Would I have seen your smile once more, my day is complete, though my heart is naught but in pieces, safe kept by you...

conversion

2009-07-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

So, life goes on eh? Doesn't always happen. For some people, time is at a standstill, it just stopped. Yup. It happens all the time.

So tomorrow there's RE. Uh oh. Can someone else edit the report, like nicholas, 'cause I [and probably Melvin] have constantly edited the report. I kinda keep dreading this, I guess. Its like that then.

Mr Teo is very humorous. Aye, that be true. For bio at least.

I want a guitar. Yes I do. I really feel like playing the guitar. I guess I like to play songs, its quite fun. Though, since this is for leisure, I will probably get a second hand one or just some cheap one. So, anyone know where I can get a really cheap guitar? Like something at <100,>

Here's a video of Jaebum from 2PM getting owned. Yes, the other main group here is SNSD. Of course, I don't put videos of random stuff. I put videos of random SNSD stuff.

Lol. Pwned. But funny. Good for Jessica then...

Heh...It seems like I trying to "convert" people now. I mean, I really like SNSD. 85-90% of the time when using the Ipod, I listen to SNSD. Oh cow. Now I wanna get the albums.

I also feel the need to do other stuff. Much more stuff. Heh. Listen to SNSD [and the random SNSD crap on Youtube] Yeah. It rocks. Huh. Though I really hope that [some of you] don't watch or like them because of the [*ahem*] wrong reasons. I'll feel sad. Yep.

[Neomu banjjak banjjak nunibusyeo No No No No No

Neomu kkamjjak kkamjjak nollan naneun Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Neomu jjaritjjarit momi tteollyeo Gee Gee Gee Gee Gee
Jeojeun nunbit Oh Yeah joheun hyanggi Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah]

OMG. So now I'm writing lyrics... I must be some fanatic. Heh.

I hall end here today. I guess.

Annyeong~

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Reaching out

Quote of the Post

Some things are just so near but you can never seem to reach them, let alone those that you can barely spot.

hah

2009-07-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

Such a great activity? Yep. And listening to songs, now SNSD again I guess. Huh.

NPCC wasn't so bad. Faster than expected.

Now I'm just pissed off. I freaking missed the eclipse. So did everyone else in Singapore. Reason being that it was cloudy and raining. Crap. I don't know if I get to see another in my lifetime. But I noticed it getting quite dark at 9+ though. Reason? Hmm... Probably what you're thinking.

Wheeeeeee.

SNSD rox!

Lol, that was extra.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Shattered and broken

Quote of the Post

My heartsoul belongs to you, but I keep deluding myself that you know of this single heartsoul's existence, out of the many others. The truth hurts too much to comprehend properly. This immeasurable distance is unreachable, but why do I continue pretending that I see it just yards away? Why can't I stop? Why do I torment myself so?

Another batch

2009-07-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

-What's more painful than not getting something you want is losing that something after you get it.

-I ask this of you, what is power to you? Why do you desire it so?

-The field has been set, the clock has started, it has begun...

-Sometimes doing nothing is harder than doing anything.

-It is not that carving things in stone is there forever, its just how long its there, and the swiftness of it blowing away by the breeze, or the pain of it slowly eroding away...

-"I shall go" [Tsubasa Chronicles-Syaoran]

-"The sword was brought down... and the sword was brought down a second time" [Bleach]

Start

2009-07-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

The start to the end. And the first to the finish. But what happens if you get screwed along the way. Sad. And it sucks too. Huh. So CCA [most part of it at least] just started again. So, here we go. The year now is really like [the end of the beginning, the beginning of the end]. Its really all over again.

And if you don't know what in the world the above sentence was saying, then just cross the out.

So we had our history presentation. It was not bad, seeing as we redid our creative product in a matter of a few days. Not bad. The Feng Ponn part was epic. Serious. And the model was quite okay. And we just random spammed some impromptu answers for our creative product, Q and A. But nothing compared to Gabriel. Even masking tape and scotch-tape has some representation. Well done.

Yes. More stuff coming on.

Hope Dong Chan's doing okay.

CLE project? Oh heck.

And some other crap.

There's NPCC tomorrow. ....[wu hua ke shuo]....

And to the topic of choosing subjects. Should I take trip sci, 1 humans or 2 sci and 2 humans? I think first choice is more rational and second is preference. Even if I do either, what humans do I pick????? Heck. And I don't even know whether to drop MSP or not. I'll be really rushed if I take it and I need 3.6 GPA but I'm a Malaysian that doesn't know Malay. Aw crap. I wanna take CAP next year though. With all the story writing, novels and poetry. Yeah. But in a dilemma here.

And not much to post today, here's a video.

And done.

Sayonara.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

The broken-hearted lies

Quote of the Post

No glue or tape can ever revert cracked pieces into a once perfect whole. There will always be marks left behind.

names

2009-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, lately, I've come to understand some misconceptions and rejection to my, uh, "nickname"??? Blog name? whatever the hell I call myself... Guardian Angel... Yeah rite. So? Answer: too bad, thats me. Suck it up or spit it out. I don't care. How pathetic.

Yes I guess that was harsh. And no, this isn't gonna pass off soon. Its stuck I guess. Ha.

Harry Potter and the half blood prince was fine. Movie wasn't bad. But wasn't good either. The humour was there. But most of it wasn't. Only one good action scene where dumbledore does some imba fire stuff. And wala, nothing left. If you read the book, don't bother. The end was particularly pathetic. Hmmm. No action scenes at all, no fighting at the end. Quite crappy. But still passable.

Finishing geog? Check.

History? Close?

Sorry Dong Chan, can't believe how sorry for you I feel. Sorry.

And this is turning out crap but ya.

Why am I watching POTC At world's end again on my ipod. Bleh. But the soundtracks were good. Movie too. But must stop spamming.

I also feel terribly sad for those who have to stoop so low to spite me. Sad and pathetic.

CCA next week. Hmmm. No comments.

Must write another poem, for who? Not saying.

And upload my previous poem. Still pending.

Processing.

And

yeah. Done.

Sorry again. I feel sad. Really. I can only guess, but its really hard to take huh? I'm all ears if you wanna tell me anything. But if not, its okay. I respect that. Sorry. I feel bad. Horribly.

And sad that some people I knew where such insensitive jerks. Huh?

Mianhamnida [sorry]

Annyeong [goodbye]

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Tired from reality

Quote of the Post

Forgetting is hard, its' tough. And you really wish it could be burned away from existence. If only it weren't real, you say.

No work? Sure, my ass.

2009-07-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Crap. Here's what I have to do now.

Get chinese file done up->JUst found the worksheets, still have to punch...zzzz

RE-> Ah, crap this. Scam. Man, I can't edit all this in one night, I'll just await death tomorrow.

Chinese homework->screw this

OC assessment-> Screw this as well. What the hell you want me to do?

Eng ERP-> what the hell, I have to resort to certain measures. I mean, I'm supposed to read Lord of the Rings, but its really thick, so Sparknotes. Got better ideas?

K, gotta get out like now. Scam, scam, scam.

Oh, I gonna watch harry potter tomorrow. Yeah.

K, one pic and I zao.

I zao now.

Annyeong, Sayonara. Ciao. Adious. Bye.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Withering

Quote of the Post

Too bad. Death and pain and despair are just part of the package of life.

Good for you

2009-07-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I been noticing many things. Since like not so long ago, I've been [as you say it] discovering things. I've noticed people, really. And I feel really sad. I ask myself why did i happen, and I guess I have myself to blame for that. I feel disappointed. Kinda.

Look, if you wanna spite me, I can't stop you. Go ahead and suan me, and insult me and piss me off. All I'll do is just ignore you. You can go on and on and I will see how long you can last. No doubt, I lose some of you who I thought you were good friends. Look, it just didn't work out. Maybe our personalities are too different, or maybe we don't understand each other enough. Yes, I sound like I just had a break up. Something like that. It sucks to lose friends, but it may just be better for us, at least for now. You do what you want, and I do what I want. Fair enough. We just don't get into each others way. I'm fine with that. But what I don't understand is why some people continue to spite me. Sour grapes, for losing a friend? Or just pissed off, because I labelled you under another category. I embarrassed you? Made you uncomfortable? Or just said some [slightly] unkind things. I didn't even name you. And there's really no point. I'll just move on, and you can stay where you are. You chose, right?

I'm not suaning you by saying that. There was completely no intention of that, I just wanted to make a comment and some advise to think about, but if you don't appreciate this, its fine. I will say this on this public blog that I'm sorry for whatever that I did to make you angry, sad or just pissed off. I apologise in front of wellm, everyone who reads this blog. Yes, I'M SORRY. For everything. Its officially a public apology. I know its not enough but its really better than insulting the other guy. Its better than nothing at all. And I mean what I say. If you want, I'll get someone who understands me to vouch for me. Hope you believe me, if not then never mind. Take it that I said nothing.

And I don't wanna sever ties, it sucks. No, I'll just give us some time I guess. Thats fine.

Seriously, what good do you gain from insulting me? I'll get pissed off? Look, I'm probably sad enough at this that I don't give a shit at what you're saying. I'm sad about this matter, so there's no point in making things worse. I will still feel sad, but will you feel something else as well? I think there's something about holding a grudge here. It hurts, so don't bother making yourself feel worse for a pathetic me.

Yes, so you may feel gleeful at the fact of being unfair to me. Not much change, since I'm quite bad off already. Yes. On, the outside, you tell me that you feel good doing that, but actually, it doesn't feel good, not really, at least inside it doesn't. Just some advise, but you can choose not to listen to me, of course. And if you just wanna let it out on me, fine, I can't stop you, but I'll still ignore you until I see fit to stop. Sorry, it had to turn out this way.

For everyone else who's been a good friend, thanks for being such. Man, this sounds very cheesy.

Gonna post poem next time, it seems, can someone remind me?

Got back my math TA, and I almost died. 5/12, I've failed worse, but still bad. Better than what I expected. Thought it would be something like 2/12. Ya. I know. But surprisingly, Mr Chandru didn't walk up to me and start asking me why I did so badly, he did pass me though. But I guess I'm fine with that, I felt really bad already, not just from math. But what I've been dreading has past phew. Now, I gotta mug some more and buck up. But still, there's always something else I'm dreading next in line.

Guess, I'm still gonna die next week.

Just saw some bio show called miracle of life. Some random screwed comments from everyone here and there. Saw some slightly disgusting scenes. Giving birth. Hmmm. Can't believe I was one small sperm out of the few million. Okay, now that sounds wrong. Strike that.

I wanna watch Half-Blood Prince this friday. But don't think parents will allow though. Crap, gotta test my luck.

Here's Gee, its one of my favourite songs, I guess.

Gee by SNSD

Guess I really am a poster boy.

Got music tomorrow, my guitar switching chords is horrible. Don't have the skills I guess. Sad.

PE, yeah, some league. Melvin, don't worry, just put PE in my back, like 3 seconds ago. Huh, lets go kick some ass tomorrow. JKJK, mustn't be too overconfident. I guess, good luck, cheers and GG will do.

Just got a much nicer signature, made it few days ago.

Yeah. Gotta sleep soon.

Annyeong

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Just letting go

Quote of the Post

Let go. I want to do that one too many times.

Tired of things, okay?

2009-07-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

Heyo!!! So it was just yesterday that I posted, but I guess you gotta keep the blog running, eh? Now, I gotta use bigger font or people are gonna get an eyesore, and I'll be spammed with crap. Okay. But first things first, if you come here and read my blog, just write something down on the tagboard. I feel so lonely like that. Sheesh. If you don't figgin' no how, just go to the sidebar and click on tag, then write some crap, kay?

History is up next week. Bye-bye.

I'm dead this week so it doesn't really matter.

Now a big question. Can Anyone tell me where I can get Kpop in Singapore other than online shops. Please, I getting despo. And that's bad.

CS was scrapped again.

And I had a new MSP teacher. Still prefer Cikgu Hafizah though, its more fun, and noisy and funny, and there's more freedom of speech and crap.

Yes. I'm starting to dao some of you piss-offs out there, and you should friggin' know why. I can guess who my real friends are you know. Some of you are just so fickle. If you can't decide whether you want to suan me the whole day and insult me, why the HELL did you act so "friendly" and act as though you are my good friend. So, you're still my friend, but you can never make me feel safe around you, you can't even understand me AT ALL. I know some of you do though. And I'll name a few. Melvin, you have been one of my best friends who actually seem to understand me quite well. Especially when you're serious. Hmmm. Hope its the same way to you. Anyway, you will most likely be reading this so cheers.

Some people I don't mix around much are actually quite understanding, sometimes. Hmmm. Thanks guys, hope you know who you are. If you wanna know, you can ask me.

I feel so betrayed, one too often. If you can't appreciate who I am, just quit it. Okay. To me, losing things I already have are much more painful than if I never got it in the first place. Hope you agree.

Look, I know I'm very different and strange, at least to many of you. Yes, I write poems, read much books, write stories, and fanboy sometimes, so what? Yes, I write many quotes [and too bad if you don't agree but I mean them], so what? Yes, I write some stuff that sounds too emo for some of your childish mindset to take in, so what? Yes, I'm malaysian [hope you read this dion, jonah, konn or you can just get the hell out of my blog] , so what? If its so hard to stop acting childish [some of you] then some things will never be explained properly. And I don't wanna write all this down, but I had to get it off my chest. I'll feel very bad after this, but if I just keep it in all the time, somedays, I'll just blow up. And you know [I think] that you haven't seen me pissed off real bad before. I don't wanna do that. It makes everyone unhappy. It does. [And if you recall, I don't have the heart to hold grudges, and after a while, I just can't but this might just change some day and I don't want that happening] I mean it.

Yes, I very well know that I'm very different from all of you [but is it that hard to take? And no, don't tell me I can't take a joke. Some of you can't even take a simple joke and have to retaliate. But how many times have you painstakingly "joked" with me? Did I react that bad? Think about it]. So What???

If you have a problem with me, then fine! Its okay. I do care, but I can't really care much longer. And don't say what I did above was extra. I didn't even want to name friends, and I still don't want to do this. It hurts. Really. And if you laugh [I pretty much know who will] then too bad. But if you still want to find some way to prove to me anything, then do it. But if you don't I won't blame you. I understand its very hard to do that. Very hard indeed. So don't trouble yourself if I'm not worth your time, and I don't think I'm that good a friend, but I feel it will be much easier if I draw some lines. Good for me and you.

Yes, I talk too much. And this isn't your average blog post. So I'll tell you something that happened today.

I was coming home from MSP with Sikit, on bus 13, and at our stop, I got off the bus. But, thing was, this slightly elderly man with his son/grandson were getting off. He was carrying this shopping cart thing and I sincerely thought he tapped his card already, so I reached over him and tapped my card before getting off the bus. I waited for Sikit and the man, sees me and walks up to confront me saying something like "why are in such a hurry young man?" something like that. And I immediately got the gist. "Sir, I'm really sorry, I had no idea that you hadn't tapped your card sir, and I tapped my card and moved to the other side to get out [see, he was blocking the door but thats fine, fair enough]. Bu he just kept cutting me off, and reprimanding me at the bus stop. Hey, serious, I was sorry and was sincere about it. But he just went on. "I'm an old man, you're...you're a student..." Yes, I really tried my best to bring the point across but it didn't work. Sorry, sorry, I kept saying, but after saying his fill, he walked off. I think he 1) felt I was some sort of uncaring jerk who didn't give a shit [misunderstanding] or 2) he was just pissed off and like, bu shuang. 3) he didn't believe me [misunderstanding again] or lastly 4)He's that kind of guy.

Look, get this straight, I don't blame him, but it was a misunderstanding. Serious. What do you want me to do. I could get my point across and he well, just stormed off. Sheesh.

Kay'. Hope you listened to me rant. Thanks for that. I'll just add another video, it helps me de-stress? Kinda.

Into The New World Mv- by SNSD

Goodbye.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Yours

Quote of the Post

You took away my heartsoul. I don't give a shit. I gave it to you willingly.

Saranghae neol i neukkim idaero

[if you dont know what that means, go check]

Fanboying???

2009-07-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

Rite, hi all. Its [always] been a while. Yes, I know, it gets old every time. So here are the updates guys.

Look, school has started not so well for me, at least, not too good [for my school life]. Hmmm.... I know I'm gonna die like this week. Oh, I don't think I did badly for my math TA. No. I KNOW I did badly for my math TA. I KNOW I failed, failed really badly. Now, Mr Chandru gonna screw me. Man, I am so dead.

Fine, enough of the school work, its getting you down, isn't it? What about my social life and entertainment you ask. Yes, its a bit different. First off. Eh? You ask of this "fanboying" thing. Yes, my lives changed, at least kinda. So, I'm really-really-really HOOKED to SNSD now. Oh, you don't know who they are? They're my favourite K-pop girl group. Basically, SNSD stands for So Nyuh Shi Dae, which is Girl's Generation. Yes, they rock. And now, I'm hardly listening to other songs, like say english songs. Its screwed. I can't believe this. Urgh, I'm supposed to be some guy who is un-baised on the field of music genres. Now I'm just plain scamming. 'kay, enough talk for now, as they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, huh?

9 members-Taeyeon, Jessica, Yuri, Yoona, Tiffany, SooYoung, Sunny, Hyoyeon and Seohyun

[probably elaborate further next time, bet you can't wait heh heh XD]

Yes, yes, I can probably guess what you are thinking [at least for some of you]. I like some sort of drug addict, okay, maybe not so bad, but you get the point. I mean their music and songs are great. I really need to get their albums. And since now I figured how to add videos, though very tardily, I more than pleased to spam. Yes, spam. You might think I'm mad, well I am, even if I may say so myself. Yeesh. For some reason, this going to my head about SNSD sounds like Chen Wei [of course, no offense intended], I'm quite contented with it. Yes. Bleh. What am I saying. This isn't making much sense huh?

So heck, projects are due soon. Some done already, and we still don't have CCA. Won't comment, seeing as I posted something on Chen Wei sir [XD] earlier. Don't wanna die twice eh? And they say lightning won't strike twice. Bullshit. Seen this too many times in action man. Eeep.

I'm pissed off. Kinda. Some people are just so insensitive, urgh, but I won't say who. That's overboard. Not good for me and other people. [Chen Wei, if you are reading this, it has nothing to do with you, there's no third time in one post]. Yes. My sec 2 level. But thats as far as I go then. I'm really disappointed, sometimes I think I do know who my true friends are, but I hate judging this way. Its so unjust and biased. Yes, if you know that you fall under this category, don't take it too hard. I'm sometimes a bit harsh [but if you think what I said was harsh, then 1) you haven't seen nothing yet (though not many or none have) and 2)you can't take the real world] Sorry, just pointing out the facts. Now, I'll skim through the rest.

Hope you keep checking the quotes and recommendations when you come, its interesting, and what I wanna share. So check the side bar, 'kay? Don't worry, I update that more often than the blog itself.

I haven't started MOV or ERP man. Its this friday. And I got a Lord of the Rings book. I'm a gonner. Maybe I'll rely on the movie or just get another book.

Still must revise I guess.

Got a new poem, finally! Its one of my bests pieces, and I always put my best pieces on my blog. Please do comment when I post it up when I'm free. Yeah. If you can figure out the meanings, you can share with me again. XD you know...? Yeah.

Science bio was gay today. Bio practical-sci lab. Yes, we had to find sex partners. Not real ones [what were you thinking?], its kinda experimenting to show how STDs pass 'round. For some screwed reason, I was supposed to have contracted it so either 1) something went wrong at the other side not me 2) I got something wrong with my solution 3) I'm just STD resistant. Hmmm, I like the last point.

Then we saw some sex stuff, like condoms. And some smart asses kept cracking us up. Mr Teo was also damn funny. It was a real laugh. Mushrooms, Aiysh?

Ugh, to end off, I'm gonna post a video and pic of SNSD. Yeah, Sweet!

And now, I'm listening to them all night, instead of the radio, which I usually listen to. Hey, told you my live is kinda different.

What am I, some sort of poster boy????

SNSD are better than Wondergirls, for me that is.

Don't flame me...please?

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Holding the broken pieces

Quote of the Post

And I clutch this part of my jeweled heartsoul, broken, shattered pieces, and drop them in your hand. It fades before me, into your heart, and I smile. Its forever yours for the keeping, as it was from the start.

P.S. You wanna watch better quality, go to youtube.

P.S.S. Dong Chan, sorry to trouble you, but if its convenient, could you bring your SNSD CDs? thanks.

School again

2009-07-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

'Kay guys, its been a while, like a really long while... since, well, the last post. Its been quite a while and time passes so fast... And guess what, its school again. Well, I think many people got mixed feelings about this, and about the H1N1, so I'll won't bother, as I think you can probably tell what exactly are these feelings. Quite inconveniencing, but many would feel quite happy about this development (eg. no CCA, get to go home earlier, etc.)Yeah, that kind of stuff.

So I guess many things have happened. I just thought that lately, I've been quite addicted to Bleach, though now, I don't get the chance to watch it. Sad really, I was just getting to the better parts. Now, I gotta wait till PSLE to be over (since my sis has PSLE) before I can really slack off more. Yeesh. That's like few months from now. I gotta say,

I've actually been watching a lot of random stuff on youtube. For example, I've been watching some cool and crappy Halo stuff, like Red vs Blue and Halo Mythbusters, which is really cool. I found out a lot, and if you wanna watch it on youtube, just search halo mythbusters. Red vs Blue is really funny but its just some random crap... Hey, its really amusing and funny, but there's really not much point. You also gotta see some funny videos on people, like skateboarders get whacked in the nuts. No, I'm not trying to promote sadism, its just really funny.

I don't really know what to do in my free time lately. Why am I still procrastinating? Urgh, its bad, like really bad. At this rate, its gonna take me forever to do my stuff. And I feel like writing a new poem. But just couldn't seem to be able to find much time to force myself to do stuff. And I wanna get a new book to read, or any of the novel series to release their latest book...

I feel like getting the latest Zhang Dong Liang CD, it sounds pretty nice. Hey, don't look at me that, his songs are nice. There's nothing wrong with preference. And now I gotta find time to finish my RE and History project. Yes. Really. Oh, crap, I also did my MSP homework, but it turns out that before photocopying the book cover, my mum accidentally returned it. I'm pretty much screwed.

Curious really, what did you guys do at Sengkang Compasspoint Mall? You weren't that specific. And I just feel really tired now. zzzzzz.

I heard Transformers was a good movie, still haven't watched it yet. Maybe someone wanna watch a movie together, like, with some primary school friends? Hey, really sorry Scott, if you're reading this but didn't go to your house for your birthday. I was looking forward to that, but just happens that that day clashed with my NPCC kayaking course at Kallang river. I really got a sunburn all over my face and neck and arms. My skin flaked off already, except for the arms, for some reason. Lag. I'm now much tanner. And that day, I smelled like crap, because Kallang river doesn't smell too good, there's rubbish and dead fishes everywhere (you do not wanna taste the water...). It was really fun though. Hope you guys had fun too. Its really like 3 weeks late, but happy birthday. Leonard, pass it on would you? And later in the last week, there was the unofficial squad outing at Clarence's house. Didn't go there to spam Brawl, sorry, but guess it was really fun having went there before. Couldn't come because of homework.

Anyway, I gotta end of this really long message soon, or someone will die reading this. I know. As a last note, I wonder why everyone's into K-pop nowadays (eg. wondergirls, SNSD). Must have really lagged out a bit. I'll write more the next time I got. Ciao.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

My being for you

Quote of the Post:

Hold on to things too loosely and it will slip from your grasp, hold on to things too tightly and you will crush with your own hands.

quotes repost

2009-06-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

-And always, the fire rages on and burns, the river keeps flowing,

the world keeps changing, the wind keeps blowing. And time

keeps moving and life keep on going.

-Stand for your wishes and ideals, and lead them on.

-Time never turns back, but it keeps showing its past again,

repeating just like the endless cycles of day and night or seasons.

Just the same, we keep repeating our mistakes and past events

again and again. Don't we?

-Which would you think more important, your body, the shell

that keeps you alive, or the soul and your past? Which do you

want, your life or your memories? Could you live just to start

from scratch? Could you really bear your whole, your identity,

you, form being taken away?

-By hiding your true character, you are merely enclosing yourself

in a shell that keeps things out, and also keeps things in. All this

all to blend in with the crowd?To lose our uniqueness, for that?

Are we just naturally unnatural?

Hey All

2009-06-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I hope you noticed I got a new blog skin... Yesh! It looks pretty cool doesn't it? I manage to edit the side bar to suite the other stuff, like quotes. So what's new you ask.

Basically, nothing much. This week is the second week liao, I gotta chiong projects like, right now, so I really don't have much time. I went to Daniel's house today though. Was quite fun, guess we really slack. Sigh, It always happens somehow. Gotta work, gotta work. *coughs* Yes, we do have to work... So we watched some part of a movie named "Saving Private Ryan". And seriously Daniel, why do you watch those kind of blood and gore violence. Yuck. You could see the people getting their limbs blown off. Then I saw some random soldier hesitate in the battlefield, looking at the floor, and finally making up his mind to pick up his *arm*. Which got blown off... Urgh. I saw some guy screaming with his guts on the floor beside him. It was just outright violent.

And we spammed Gunz and Mousehunt. Whee. Random spamming.

So we got more projects, and I plan to finish as much as I can. Soon. Really soon.

So I'm still singing other songs...

And randoming.

And seriously, what's wrong with what some of you call "emo-ing". Really, I don't find any wrong in that. Why do people accuse me of being some outright fool or something? If you don't understand who I am, or the fact that each person has his own thoughts, then what right do you have to comment? Hmm? Not much reason really. You are being so close-minded, you can't appreciate what's around you? Well, your loss, I guess. If you think you don't fall under this category (and I mean those who seriously oppose what's stated above deep in their hearts) then this doesn't apply to you. But I really don't wanna hold grudges, so don't take this too hard I guess.

And yeah. Still reading the Twilight saga for the 2nd time in a row (that means just twilight saga and no books in between). Probably read the whole series like 5+ times already. Phew. So inspiring for me I guess. I'm hooked to books I enjoy. If you haven't read this series, go try, its really nice.

Nothing else to add...

Ciao

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

And it comes around again

Quote of the Post

Blindness is not just inflicted by loss of sight, it is also inflicted by loss of empathy and understanding.

Silence doesn't mean consent, it means contemplation.

Repeat

2009-06-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

-Humans are fugitives, running away from truth and reality. Always to escape and hide. To what extent? It's an endless cycle.

-Everyone on this plane of life follows many paths; one of which is where we constantly tell lies, not just to others, but mostly to ourselves. We constantly delude ourselves, for many a reason. To relieve our guilty conscience, to reassure ourselves that we are doing what is right or someone else is wrong. We are habitual liars. We just can't face the truth all the time. It's just the way things work.

-Many a time, we regret. We regret the many things we did. But just as many times, we regret the many things we did not do.

-In truth, why are people greedy? It's quite senseless actually. We want many things, material things. But why do we want so much? To be of higher standard, to 'acknowledge' the fact that you are more important than others? At the very end, the end of your life, you are no better compared to anyone else. Just as hopeless as anyone against death and life. What can you do? And in the end, when you lose it all, won't you fall harder than a person less fortunate than you? All in all, be grateful with what you have.

Customisation

2009-06-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

Oh crap, I seriously need a nice layout for the blog, cause it really is too ordinary, not that I'm not contented but I gotta admit, I'm quite envious of other people's blogs and I want someone who can create the perfect blog skin for me, at least a nice one. Can anyone do that? ...

I guess I gotta spam now, seeing as I have so many projects to do.... Uh firstly, I need to call everyone leh, and I don't have the contacts for my msp group. I'm quite screwed. Huh, I know, but just so anyone has (eg. Isaac) uh, could you quickly inform me. There are Jeremy, Nick and Daniel. Probably have to email cikgu. Bleh, I noticed that the clock is slowly ticking. Sad really. From past experience, I know not to procrastinate, and as a side note, those who are doing projects with me, let's start as soon as possible. Phew. I also got to do some random liang zhu skit. Crap, that is one reason I'm quite dreading. Uh huh, tell me about it. At least I'm not Liang Shan Bo or Zhu Ying Tai, ha ha Melvin/Konn. I'm Ma Wen Cai. Guess that sucks too. And if you guys read this, could you send me the script to practise before I die off or something? Thanks.

Lets just say I don't want a re-run of previous oh-crap-I-gotta-spam-my-homework-or-else-I'm-so-screwed-to-the-extent-of-no-return kind of incidents happening again. Yeah, you get what I mean.

Yeesh, reading Twilight saga again now. When can I ever lay off the books I've read again and again, I ask myself. Answer: not ever gonna happen my boy. Ohhh-kayyy then. At this rate, I pretty much have no time to work on my book's plot. Just so you know, its a also has a anime/manga element you find in those kinds of plots. Probably cause I like that too. So yah.

Still thinking of more quotes. There are only written down if I mean what I say.

Uh, I feel that I'm quite selfish, always talking about myself, and not others. Hmm, on my blog I mean, and I know it feels great when you get acknowledged, so I'll try to write down you guys more often. So sorry.

And I know that you guys do this too, and fact is, I keep asking myself what June holidays mean. Go figure. I pretty much know the answer, but like everyone else, I delude myself into thinking those are days you would enjoy. We take too much for granted I guess.

Thats all guys. See you, or maybe not.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

And the fight resumes

Quote of the Post

The truth of the word "leave" is two-sided. Think about it. For people you despise or certain situations, you would prefer them to leave you alone. But for the people you would sacrifice your soul for, you don't want them to leave. Not at all.

New poem-finally~

2009-05-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

So here is another poem I just wrote, and its pretty good. Yah, one of the better pieces I think. Guess I'll just write another soon. Yup.

A Perfect Imperfect Uniqueness

The inner soul is different

From that of your human shell.

But we are so closed minded,

What we see is what we tell.

For the soul makes up character,

And coexists with your outer self.

This inaccurate representation,

Can fool others of one's true self.

And inside lies dormant,

Is your heart and soul.

Immaterial but real, this reality

Is worth more than any gold.

From what you can't see.

Ideals, thoughts, values and up-takes.

The character is none alike,

Unique and fresh like a snowflake.

From what you see alone,

You cannot judge.

For each different character,

Adds new flavour and touch.

And ignorant I am,

I ask a representation of you.

A colour perhaps, or an item,

Now I know I'm a fool.

Your soul is a symbol of your true self,

And its just right there.

But it is constantly clouded by thick fog,

How am I to appreciate and care.

Oh, its all natural to be unnatural,

Just to blend in.

To envelope one's self in a hard shell,

You can't get out, others can't come in.

It's a real pity, for a mere reason,

To act otherwise for others' liking.

And thus, from dormant to extinct,

Your true self a lost and forgotten thing.

And I lament to myself,

That many people don't appreciate.

The soft or hard, warm or cold souls

That exist, its just fate.

And wallow in self pity a while,

That no one is on the exact same wavelength.

Sometimes it feels all lost, your uniqueness

All taken in a swift breath.

But I'll loosen my sorrow,

For I can learn to accept without sighs.

Each and everyone's differences and uniqueness,

All a beautiful colour to my eyes.

If only I could fully comprehend,

All through the thick fog, a beautiful scene.

If only I could share with you

This rainbow, sharp and keen.

Then maybe you would let go of your shell,

To show the once dormant character inside.

Then maybe you could appreciate and accept

Others without having to hide.

Then maybe you could enter

This perfect imperfect unique world.

Then you could be happy for a while,

Watching these pictures unfurl.

But then again-if only,

If only, if only... if only

We could see through all this.

This self-inflicted mindless folly.

Then wishing to see it all again with you too

... if only... maybe...

Yeah, thats all. I think its not bad. In case you didn't catch it, the poem is talking about each person's unique character. And how people don't appreciate the differences and uniqueness, and the disadvantages of it, as well as the good points of being able to appreciate this uniue world. Phew. That's about it.

Yeah, just a quick review. Got back my chem tests.... Urgh, practical 7/10 and quiz....11/20. This is seriously gonna pull down my grades. So tomorrow's the last day of the term, sweet huh? Can't wait as well. Okay, that's all guys, now goodbye...

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

And seeing a whirl of colours

P.S Word equation:

Poem on post=no quotes on post XD

Real Quick

2009-05-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Let's make this real quick cause I don't have time. Really. Nothing much happened in a span of 1 day. Really.

So I had a CCT today. Malay. Ugh. Tomorrow I have English and Chemistry tests as well. I'm pretty dead. So, I don't have much to say on that.

Oh. I feel quite left out sometimes. I really wish there's someone on my wavelength, cause I mostly confide in myself about mostly everything, from values to ideals... Sigh, its quite sad actually, I really have no one to express what I am to. I'm not asking anyone to try to identify with me, its just that I'm pretty sad sometimes. I feel pent-up. So I listen to music, read, sing, write stuff like poems and quotes to express my feelings and opinions. Its okay then. Sigh. So much for being unique, maybe just rare or slightly differently would be better. Thats why I try to appreciate peoples character cuz I know everyone is unique.

Okay. So sorry about this afternoon Daniel and Dion, if I made you upset or anything. I really didn't mean it, got quite caught up with myself I guess. I'm a bit disappointed with myself for not being able to control myself. So its not like I insulted you or anything, but I gotta work on the control again, guess sometimes I'm pretty harsh on myself.

So I've gotta go. Wheeps.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

And my soul yearns for an identical

Quote of the Post

Many things have a good point and bad point in life, nothing is perfect really. Like uniqueness and difference in peoples characters. Its defines them, but for many others like deep thinkers, its very hard to find someone to appreciate you differently form others. Its sad really.

Speed?

2009-05-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

So let's do this quick and fast cause I need to do homework and mug for some test, but yeah. Okay. Fine. Whatever. Really.

So hopefully you guy have gone to youtube to listen to some nice songs I wrote down. Yeah? No, probably not. If you want No Boundaries by either Kris Allen or Adam Lambert, you can ask me, I've got the song. XD. Ok, don't ask where I got it, but I just do... Hmmm, come to think of it, i'm pretty hooked to singing, too much, oh, and also the things about life and all that. So you may still think I'm emo-ing or whatever, I can't help you, its your opinion. Oh, may I mention that it lets me release my emotions and feelings. Yep, you know. Okay, most of you probably won't. So sad. Haiz.

I'm still waiting for a counterpart that can identify with me, and its pretty hard to find. Even Mr Lim said that not many people actually think about life and death and all that. Its quite sad. Really. We also read some book that talks about death, and its about some maple leaf, its called "Freddie the Leaf" or something. Made me think for a while, it did.

History was a nightmare. Just so you know, we were doing the Japanese occupation or something. The scenes from the NanJing Massacre were just so disturbing, the text were just as bad. Urgh, I really don't understand. People like Gabriel and some others (eg. Dion) are just so uncaring about this and they are joking about it. Actually, more of them are, like Dexter or Yong Jie, but people like Gabriel are just so sadist. I'm really disgusted. He is not only a sadist, he is a sick freak. Its just disturbing. But then again, I know he just does it because he thinks its fun. Actually, thats just as bad. Oh cow, he's also quite um... never mind. Sometimes, things should be kept to oneself. And thats what I do to much, well not to burden people with my troubles, but I also ease their load. Though that makes me kind of weighed down, at least he is more at ease. I'm surprised that so far, my empty but not filling up bottle of emotions that are mine and others have not blown up yet. I just hope I won't blow up.

Hey, I guess the better part is that I can control myself better, and not hit people or use violence. I really don't like grudges, its bad for your mental health and it doesn't solve anything, just makes it worse. Its a good thing that I just can't hold grudges, after a few days, or even a few hours at times, I can let live and let go. Yep, its irritating that your just can't get angry at that person for too long, but its good ultimately. However, I still a human, an imperfect living creature on this plane of life. So I might cave in some time if someone goes overboard. I haven't really gone into rage and evil mode truly before and I hope it won't happen. I probably won't be the same guy anymore. I don't want to see myself at that time.

And guys, just let go of what has already happened, like American Idol. Its okay, things will move on as usual. (See my last quote) I'm still going to say that both Kris and Adam are excellent singers with different, unique styles. And that is one thing I appreciate, the fact that everyone is different. Oh, and I'm listening to No Boundaries again. Sigh, doesn't get old. Phew. You can go higher, you can go deeper.... Every step you climb another mountain... There are no boundaries, there are no boundaries~

Yeah, I know, its not exactly a short post, so I'm off... Yep. I'm writing another poem now so I'll have one up soon, don't worry... K. Bye.

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Appreciating all I have

Quote of the Post

When you have finally learnt to understand and appreciate all you have or obtain, you will only then truly understand how fortunate you are, and then start to develop a little something that not many people but at the same time many people treasure-compassion.

No Boundaries

2009-05-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

So yah, not much to post about and its getting quite late, so I'll just put some lyrics for you. It's No Boundaries by Kris Allen or Adam Lambert. Both of them sing it quite differently and based on their own style but both of them are unique and just as good. Go search them up, its all over the net and youtube, so shouldn't be a problem. Yeah, so here are the lyrics.

No Boundaries

by Adam Lambert/Kris Allen

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way
What if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I fought to the limit you stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the future's headed
Nothing's gonna bring me down
Jumped every bridge I've run every line
I risk being safe, I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cause there's nothing between you and your dreams

With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up all your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries
No boundaries
Yeah, there are no boundaries

Your Guardian Angel

Zhe Herng

Letting the Passion flow

Quote of the Post

When you think is all over, always think again. The only thing that is totally over is all that is the past, and then after that, think about what's yet to come, and forget what you missed out, because the past is already engraved in stone, and what's yet to come is for you to engrave in stone.

Laments of the World

A Final Fantasy

Some ppl haz teh cheezburger

Encore

Crying over stuff

The Leap of Faith

Over With

The insides

Personality and locks and decisions

Revert

Just get on with it

Back to business and basics

It's creeping on me

Harder than stone

Just that once?

That feel

Dried stream

Slipstream conscience

Self extinguishing flames

Running around

Overload warning

Pain remorse

High Honey

Funny how that happens sometimes

Same and a heart attack

Lasting

Close, and a closed door

Far cry

2 days and a life

Meeting up

Previous

A Puppet

Soon

Shattered Cold Front

Smooth

Listed

Unrelated

A while

Still

Hopes and dreams

Time is ticking

Confessions

upped

Running

Get me one

conversion

hah

Another batch

Start

names

No work? Sure, my ass.

Good for you

Tired of things, okay?

Fanboying???

School again

quotes repost

Hey All

Repeat

Customisation

New poem-finally~

Real Quick

Speed?

No Boundaries